It’s late Saturday evening and I start to get a runny nose.
At first I do not think anything of it, but as the evening progresses into
night it gets worse. By the end of the night I can tell I am getting sick. The
timing could not be worse. I am a week and two days away from taking the bar
exam, and I have one more week of intense study I need to accomplish. I wake up
Sunday so sick that all I want to do is sleep. —fatigue, headache, runny nose.
I end up missing church Sunday, which kind of freak’s me out. Going to church
is my solace, my reprieve from studying, and a spiritual uplifting.
The week turns out to be a struggle. I am sick all week. I
end up sleeping, studying, sleeping each day for an entire week. I fall behind
in my studying, not too much, but enough to cause me concern. On Sunday I am
still sick, but go to church—sick or not I need spiritual nourishment. Later
that evening my home teachers come and give me a blessing and anointing. The
blessing was exactly what I needed to help clear my mind and get me through the
next few days.
When I wake up the next morning my mind is clear, my head
does not hurt, and I feel less fatigued. I can actually think and study without
sleeping. Although I am still sick, I am able to focus on one last subject
before leaving to take the exam. Later that evening I arrive at my hotel room,
and my roommate is already there studying. We catch up on life, and review a
few concepts. As we talked I shared this scripture with her “But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost,
whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring
all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.” (John14:26)
This scripture means everything to me. It is why I am writing this today. That
night shortly before going to bed I had a thought to look up the business
judgment rule (BJR). At some point either that night or in the morning I looked
it up, and I memorized it. Just a few hours later I ended up needing it.
For two-days I took the worst exam in the world—for a second
time. It was gross, there were things I did not know exactly, but knew a little,
and some things I did not know at all. One thing I knew for certain was the BJR.
While I took the exam, I was still sick. I had to take cough drops, and blow my
nose. However, I was not tired (not until it was over), and I had a clear mind.
Things were brought to my conscience that amazed me I could recall. It was like
the scripture said the holy ghost brought “things
to [my] remembrance.”
I left the exam exhausted, and pretty sure I did not pass.
In fact, for about a week if you asked me I would have told you I did not pass.
However, this is how we lose our faith and become discouraged, when we lose
hope. I did a turnabout, and instead just let others know I do not know how I
did, but I am hopeful. Next week the results are supposed to come out. I am
still not sure what the results will be, but I am hopeful. Hopeful I passed,
and hopeful I can practice law in Nebraska soon.
What if I do not pass? I am currently licensed to practice
law in Iowa, and will begin looking for a job there. However, I am eligible to
work in seventeen other states, and will look jobs in those states as well. I
am not going to retake the bar. I am an attorney now, and I can practice law,
which is part of my dream being realized. Pass or fail I know that heavenly
father helped me that day, I know he guided me, and I know he brought thing to “my
remembrance.” If I did not pass, well . . . it just was not meant to be,
because he was there with me every step of the way.
