Fear - What is it Keeping You From?

Fear is not easy to overcome, but when we do we get to experience life at its fullest.

Fear kept me from building friendships and opening up for the longest time to more than just a select few. Believe it or not it also kept me from riding my bike.

I like people; I love people, but showing that can be difficult. For many years I kept myself at a protective distance not letting others in, typically only opening up when prompted, or after trust had been established. This year I made an effort to become more open allowing others into my life. It is still a work in progress, and recently because I was afraid, I missed letting someone know what a great best friend that person was to me. I regret not saying anything. Sometimes fear creates missed opportunities and growth.

A few weeks ago, while in Utah, I rode my bike up to Squaw Peak. It is a 4 mile climb, with a 2, 023 elevation gain, and a killer grade the last 1/2 mile--I think it is a 13% grade.

The last time I did this ride was 2013. For six years I have been too afraid to attempt this ride! There were many reasons why, but fear of not getting to the top is essentially what stopped me.

July 6 of this year I decided my fear was no longer going to keep me from this ride. I was scared, but I was not going to let my fear stop me. I took off that morning on a solo ride to the top.

It was tough, I plugged along one pedal stroke at a time eventually making it to the top exhausted, spent, shaking and elated I had made the climb. The view was beautiful! To think I had missed out on this for the last six years.

How often do we let our fears keep us from moving forward? How often do we have missed opportunities, and miss out on the beauty of life and the spectacular view because we let our fear hold us back?

I missed an opportunity in one situation because of fear, but in another I overcame my fear, and experienced a wonderful view as well as a sense of accomplishment. So do not let your fear stop you, you do not want to miss out on life and all of its spectacular views.

Alpine Loop - First Time

I have wanted to ride the Alpine Loop since I started riding a bike 2 years ago, but there was always a reason I didn't or couldn't.  An upcoming race, a cool mountain bike ride, fear of how long it would take to recover, not able to recruit someone to ride with me--always a reason.  Well, this weekend the opportunity arose, and I had to decide if I could go or not.  You see, there was still a really cool mountain bike ride I could go on and many other things.  Lucky for me my family made the decision for me.  They were sick, and it was better for me to be close by than a few hours away riding.

I was excited about the ride, but a little tenative.  I was riding with Jen who is much faster than me, and I knew there was no way I would keep up with her.  Also, the plan was not to just ride the loop, but South Fork and Squaws Peak.  I figured I could ride the loop, and probably South Fork, but Squaws Peak was on the we'll wait and see list.

We started out early in the morning, but ended up being delayed by almost 30 minutes due to my forgetfulness....I forgot the shammy butter!  Lucky for me my husband was home and was willing to bring it to me.  Unfortunately he did not understand I was at 400 East in Lindon/PG and went to 400 E in Orem.  There was some waiting, phone calls, and more waiting, but I eventually got the shammy butter.  Thanks goodness, because I think there would have been a lot of pain without it.

The ride was great, and I was much slower than Jen as I expected, but being slow has some benefits.  Did you know there are purple flowers that grow in random places on the side of the mountain?  There is not much shubbery in these spots, which makes seeing the flowers so beautiful.

The ride also went quicker than I expected.  I would see trailheads I was used to going to on my mountain bike and would be surprised I quickly I got to them.  However, after the last trailhead I was in unfamilar territory and did not know how much further it was to the summit.  Which sometimes can make it hard to keep going mentally, but I just pedaled and pedaled hoping the top would come soon.

It was not long after this point I ran into a cyclist with a flat tire.  I was able to give him some air, and would have given him my tube, but he refused--hope he made it down okay, because that was his 3rd/4th flat of the day.  While he was patching his tire I learned it was not much further to the top--yeah, I was almost there!  Jen sheepdogged back down, and we went back to the top to take some quick pictures and head down to South Fork.

At South Fork we filled up our water bottles and took off to the top.  The plan this time was for Jen to go up and I would catch her on the way down.  Guess what I was not too far behind and ended up going all the way to the top.  I was surprised how easy South Fork was, I seemed to zip right up to the top and was surprised how quickly I got there.  I am sure I was not that fast, but it sure did feel fast.

After South Fork, I was opted out of doing Squaws Peak.  It was pretty hot, and the thought of going up in the heat of the day was not appealing.  So Jen and I rode down to the Provo River trailhead, and I rode home.  Surprising enough when I got home I was not too tired.  I quickly did yoga stretches to help prevent undue soreness, and then spent the rest of the day going out and playing with the family.  Today I feel pretty good which gives me hope I could probably do this ride sometime again.

The Trainer

Last year I rode outside most of the  winter and did not need to spend much time on my trainer.  This year has been different.  My cold tolerance has changed with my broken nose, so I have been riding mostly on my trainer.  It's not so bad.  I have discovered the series Heroes, there are 23 episodes in the first season!  I also love to watch Biggest Loser while on the trainer, it is very motivating.  But I have my fingers cross that soon it will be over 30 in the morning and I can start riding outside again.

I Don't Care...

if I am sick. 

That is how I felt yesterday.  Last Sunday I woke upand felt like I was going to collapse.  I was very fatigued, sick to my stomach and extremely dizzy.  I slept most of the day away, woke the next day and then went to work the next day.  Eventually I ended up going home not feeling good at all.  For the rest of the week I have been sick.  So finally Saturday I couldn't take it anymore, and I went for a bike ride.

I probably shouldn't have gone for a ride, but it felt so good to be out.  The ride was nothing difficult mostly flat, and a nice easy pace.  It was great to feel the cold air on my face as I rode, and such a relief to be on my bike.  I am still feeling under the weather, but it was so worth it to get out and go for a ride.
Pictures of the lake and mountains.

Triple Goobergross

I went for a road ride today. Usually these are not my fondest rides--I much prefer dirt. However, today it was just what I needed. I loved the feeling as I rode and the ease of pedaling at a steady pace. I was really pleased with how quickly I got to Vivian Park, I couldn't believe how easy it was. Then I turned around to go back. Aha I had a tail wind all the way up, no wonder it was so easy. Lucky for me it was not too bad and I was still able to keep a nice pace going back.

So on my ride there were a few gross things I experienced. The first was the nose blow. When I got up to Viv' Park, my nose was really runny, and of course there was no tissue nearby. Going back down I figured it would be manageable, but it wasn't and breathing was difficult. So I did the one thing I thought I would never do. I blew out my snot on the road--gross! I did fine, no dripage, or anything, and I was able to breathe, but it was soooo gross.

The second gross thing was the bug that splatted on my neck. This is actually not a big deal, but the guts were kind of gross. I forgot how many bugs there are in the warm weather.

The final gross and really goobergross was the grasshopper/bug that caught in my helmet strap on the side of my head. It landed just perfect between by head and the strap and got caught. Feeling it flutter around trapped caused me to quickly reach up and grab it, as I did I could feel the body squish in my fingers which caused my to squeal like a girl. It was really gross! I can't help it, but sometimes I am such a girly, girl and gross things definitely bring that out.

Oh My Seat (Butt) Bones

Normally I like to tell of the fun I had on the trail. And this weekend I had a great amount of fun. I mountain biked and road biked and had great fun riding with friends. However, there will be other times to tell of my fun. Today I am going to share in my weekend woe, or more to the point my bruised butt bones. Sorry if I offend anyone, but it is what it is

My husband informed me that I do not have butt or seat bones. But I disagree, because the bones I sit on are bruised and sore, therefore they are my seat/butt bones.

This weekend I learned the importance of a good saddle. I did 2 separate rides Saturday. The first was a small mountain bike ride. We rode up Squaw Peak, and then up roller coaster road to Dragons Back, down Dragons Back to the trail and home. I did this ride on my WSD saddle and was comfortable the entire time. Distance only 24 miles, and I felt really good and ready for my next ride--a road ride out to Lincoln Beach.

The ride to Lincoln Beach was a slow to moderate pace and only 36 miles. I have done this distance and more on my mountain bike without any problems or any soreness, but today on the road bike ouch! Let me say that again OUCH!!!

I do not have a WSD saddle on my road bike. The saddle is not a stock saddle, it's one I bought, but now that I have been spoiled by my other saddle is it the most miserable saddle I have been on, and it brings tears to my eyes--the tears are not tears of joy.

During the entire road ride I had to keep shifting around, and it did not matter how much shifting I did I was not going to be comfortable. Eventually I began to feel a burning sensation, I thought I was on fire! After that I became numb. This is not so bad as you can at least finish out your ride, but you really have no idea of how sore you are until you are done. Well, unfortunately I found out just how sore I was before my ride was done. The last couple miles we ended up on a gravel paved road. The vibration of the road took away all numbness. I don't think I could have gotten off the road soon enough.

Since my numbness was now gone I could not wait to finish our ride. Thank goodness we only had another mile or so to go. By the time we got back I more than ready to be done. I had a great time riding, but it is now time to buy a new saddle for my road bike--and to think all winter on the trainer I thought the pain was from the trainer...now I know.

White Out (very long-no pics)

Because of the new job and my oldest moving out (I no longer have a babysitter), I have started to go to spin class. However, today when I got up at 5 am it looked like the perfect morning for a bike ride up to Vivian Park. So, I bundled up in my winter clothing, made sure my light was mounted to by bike and took off.

About 2 blocks from my home I realized I had forgotten my riding glasses, but decided it was not necessary to go back. I was only going to be on a paved trail, so I was not too worried about debris or objects hitting me.

The ride towards the Provo Trail Head was nice. It was cool, but I warmed up quickly as I rode. I found the gear I chose to wear was perfect for the outside temperature. My light worked great for the ride on the road, and it helped with people seeing me as I rode. Surprisingly there was more traffic than I expected, but the drivers were courteous and cautious as they drove around me.

As I approached the Provo Trail Head I noted there was no wind. Typically when I have rode to this trailhead in the morning there is a good wind coming down from the canyon, but not this morning which made the ride up in to the canyon better than ever.

As I started my ride on the Provo Trail I noted I needed a light on my helmet. I had chosen not to wear my helmet light as I figured there would not be too much twisting or turning. The Provo Trail turns just enough that it would have been nice to have a helmet light.

The ride up the trail was ominous. I felt the dark of the trees enclosed around me and it made for a quiet peaceful ride. As I rode I kept my ears perked for crashes or strange sounds as one time when Todd rode on this trail he saw a moose! Running into a moose in the dark is not something I would like to happen. I am afraid I would probably have the same reaction Josh had when he almost hit a moose.

As I rolled through Nunns Park, crossed the road to the trail I noted a head wind was coming up and there were some light snowflakes. I kept riding enjoying how different the trail seems in the dark and the light snowfall added to the beauty.

Shortly after passing Bridal Veil Falls the snow started to come down heavier. As I continued to ride the now fall became heavier and heavier making me at time ride with my head turned to the side—I should have grabbed those glasses, snow hitting your face and eyes hurts a lot. As I rode I was grateful for the reflectors that were put on a very sharp turn. Had those not been there I would have missed the turn entirely and ended up in water. Funny I never noticed the reflectors today, but in snow and dark they were a life saver.

After riding with a turned head for a short distance, the snow suddenly turned to white out conditions, at this point I turned around. I was not too worried about the snow bothering me down the trail as I had been riding in a head wind so I should have a nice tail wind, since heavy snowfall did not show up until after Bridal Veil Falls I guessed the trail back would be as nice as when I rode up. How wrong I was.

Upon turning around I took a moment to get a good drink of water and then started down the trail. As I started my ride back I discovered the snow was coming down heavier than before and the wind was not a tail wind, but a head wind. That’s what happens when you ride in this canyon, the wind blows in both directions.

The snow was bad. It was coming down fast and hard. In the short time I had ridden it had completely covered the trail and there was not visible sign of the trail. In addition to the snow covered trail obstructing my vision the snow was obstructing my vision. It was coming down so fast it hurt my eyes and face and I couldn’t see past my front wheel as I tried to avoid the pain of the snow pelting my eyes. I rode slowly since I couldn’t keep my head up to see, but this did not lessen the pain I felt from the snow.

I don’t know exactly how far I rode up the canyon, but it seemed to take forever to get to Bridal Veil Falls. Once I got to Bridal Veil Falls I started make destination spots in my mind. These destination points helped keep my mind preoccupied.

The snow was deep as I rode. It clung to my wheel and you cold hear it scraping through the brake pads as I rode. My right hand started to get cold which made me anxious to get home and off the trail. For some reason my glove on my right hand was not keeping it warm. I noticed as I rode skinny, slick tires do not make for good traction. When I went up slight inclines the wheels would spin round and round and I would slide up the inclines. This was actually good because I could get my blood flowing on these little inclines. Unfortunately inclines were far and few between since most of the ride is downhill, so going slow and not spinning my legs fast enough did not help my comfort level.

At one point in my ride I reached one of the destination points, a tunnel, and stopped for a reprieve from the snow. I took this opportunity to take the glove off my right hand and call home. I was unsuccessful I could not get the call to go through. I put two of my gloves in my jacket pocket and only put back on the liner glove to see if this would help my hand. My reasoning was maybe my riding glove and liner were too tight and making my hand cold. They weren’t and my hand got colder as I rode down the trail not warmer.

After my stop in the tunnel it was not long before I got to Timpanogous Park, and nothing but relief came over me. From here I knew it was not far to warmth and relief. As I rode all I could think about was the warm gas station down the trail. It was somewhere around Timpanogous Park a doe and her baby ran right in front of me. For a short moment I forgot about the pain from the pelting snow and took a moment to enjoy the beauty of nature. That moment was very short as the pain of cold and pelting snow came back quickly.

When I finally made it to the gas station at the trailhead I was overjoyed. When I walked in I received dismayed looks from the clerk and one customer there. Apparently what I did not realize until I took my helmet off the snow was piled high on me. So much so that there were big piles inside my helmet, I guess I should have known this as my bike had piles of snow on it. I quickly let them know when I started my ride it had not been snowing.

Inside the gas station I tried to call my husband again and lucked out he was up and answered the phone. After talking with him I went to the bathroom to run warm water on my hand. It was here I discovered my face and hands were swollen, and that the hot water did not work. I was left to wait for my husband before I would have the opportunity to completely warm up. Luckily I was waiting in the gas station which was warm.

My husband did not take long to come to my rescue and we left. About half way home was when I started to get cold and started to shiver. Once home I bolted upstairs to soak in the hot tub. I ended up soaking in the tub a very long time. So long that I fell asleep and my husband had to wake me up so I would not be late for work. I begrudgingly got out, but I could have easily gone to bed and slept for hours. Needless to say three fingertips on my right hand and two on my left hand have hurt all day long, and for the most part I am still cold. I think I need to take another warm bath.

In or Out

I was supposed to go on a Mtb ride early this morning in AF Canyon. The last I heard from the weather man last night was it would not start to rain until close to noon. The weather man was wrong! At 6:15 am this morning the wind was blowing and the rain had started to come down--ride cancelled. As I watched the rain all morning long all I could think about was riding my bike. I wanted to get out and after resisting as long as I could I finally gave in. Excitedly I got my gear on, pumped up the tires on my road bike, added the flasher to the back so people could see me and took off. Looking up to the mountains with the clouds low and surrounding them I knew exactly where I wanted to go. My destination Squaw Peak Road.

The rain drizzled lightly as I started down the road towards Provo Canyon. I had all of the vents on my rain jacket vents unzipped which turned out to be the perfect temperature for the ride. I was looking forward to riding Provo Canyon Trail and Squaw Peak Road I figured in this rain the trail and the road would be empty, and I was mostly right. Going up the trail I was able to ride where ever I wanted without having to worry about a cyclist, rider or long board coming my direction. It was cool being on the trail by myself. Just as I rounded the corner near Timpanogous Park I saw another cyclist. We exchanged greetings and continued on our way.

This was my first ride up Squaw Peak Road, and I was not sure I would be able to ride the hill. But was determined to give it my best. The ride up the road was great as most people were at home due to the rain. There were a few cars that came down the road and three that passed me coming up, but not as many as there usually are on a weekend. A feeling of peace and calm surrounded me as I road by myself. There is something about rain, dusky darkness and low clouds around the mountain that bring calm and joy at the same time. The fall colors are beautiful right now and the swirling clouds around the mountain enhanced the beauty. I wanted to take stop and take pictures, but did not want to stop riding, so I comprised and decided to take pictures on my way down. As I rode up the road the rain was a steady drizzle, but as I climbed and got higher the drizzle became stronger. By the time I got to the top the rain had become a steady down pour. Lucky for me going up keeps your warm.

At the top I took some pictures of the valley and the mountains and then started down. I didn't get far when I realized I needed to close the vents on my rain jacket as it was getting cold going down. I made a couple of stops on the way down to take pictures. At one of those stops I had to get out my extra gloves, because all of the sudden my fingers were getting cold. I guess that's what happens when you go faster than 5 miles an hour. The ride down was quick, fun, soggy and cold. On the Provo Trail I ran in to one more cyclist, he seemed to be enjoying riding in the rain as much as me. I found even though I had on shoe covers that my socks had become squishy inside my shoes. It reminded me of when you are a kid and you play in the rain puddles and you have the squishy tennis shoes. By the time I got home my outside gear was soaked. The rain jacket worked pretty well, and my jersey was only slightly wet. The ride was great and I have now learned I can ride skinny tires in the rain and I will not kill myself!

I've Been Stung!

Went for a nice casual rode ride yesterday. I thought it would be fun to show Royce the Big Spring Hollow trail. I decided to ride my road bike to the trail, and I would meet him up there, and then we would exchange my road bike with my mountain bike. I took off and rode along the Provo trail to Vivian Park, and then up the road to Big Spring Park. The ride was nice and beautiful and since it was a recovery ride I had the opportunity to enjoy the entire ride. Some time on the road to Big Spring Park I was hit in the neck by a bug. This is not uncommon, being hit by a bug, so I didn't think anything about it. When I got to the park I hopped off my bike to wait for Royce when I felt a sharp stick close to my arm pit. I grabbed my jersey thinking there was a sharp twig in there, only to stuck several times. After turning on side of my jersey completely around out came a wasp! I looked and sure enough I had been stung, not once at least 5 times (I counted 5 holes)! I never would have thought it possible for a wasp to get caught in your jersey while riding, but I am proof that it is. Luckily for me my husband came soon, and we were able to get on our mountain bikes and ride so I could take my mind off the stinging. All in all it was a great ride, and I definitely have something to remember it by.
The wasp that stung me. Sadly after this picture he was run over.
















Big Spring Hollow Trail (taken with cell phone)

Put a Smile on My Face

Rain and wind yesterday, enough wind that I didn't want to ride my bike as going down hill would probably feel like going up hill. But today it was only rain and I can handle the rain, so I geared up and went for a ride on the road. I road Provo trail and different parts of the city. I decided not to ride my road bike, as I prefer fat tires on rain slick road versus skinny tires. The ride was awesome, and I am glad I got out. It's funny, but I notice I am always smiling when I ride, doesn't matter what I am doing I am always smiling. I guess it shows how much I love it.

I rode to work today.

Today I rode to work. Now this may not be a big deal, but it has been one I have been trying to figure out. See my job is not very far away (only 2.3 miles), but the problem I have is how do I carry my lap top and files, and do I go in cycling clothes or work clothes. I finally figured out the laptop issue. I found a back pack with padding in it. It holds my files and lap top and wouldn't you know it a change of shoes. So I gave it a shot and rode. Today I rode in my work clothes. It was not hard, because I had dress pants on, but I think even a short ways needs to be in cycling clothes. It was just hot enough to cause a slight perspiration. If I would go slow then I wouldn't have to worry about perspiration, but I have to see how fast I can go....it's just something I always have to do.

My new bike accessory.

Road Ride

Went or a road ride today. The weather was a little brisk, but clear and sunny. I took a lot of back country roads, and it sure felt like it on some of the roads. At times I thought it would be better to have my mountain bike instead of my road bike. There were a lot of pot holes and gravel, some pot holes were so deep and big cars had to go completely around them.

I wasn't the only rider out today, there were a few, but not a lot. The end of my ride I hit part of the Provo Trail. On the trail I saw more riders than I had seen on the road. I only ride a small part of this trail, because it has a speed limit of 15 mph. Today I was averaging 18 mph. This is good. Although it is not as fast as most cyclist it is 2 mph better than what I did in November. I hope someday I can average 20 - 25 mph.

I finished my ride in 1:59, with about 5 minutes going to stop light waits. I went a total of 30 miles, which is the furthest I have ridden on my road bike. The cool part about this ride I am ridng with more confidence and I was able to access my water bottles and drink without having to stop. This ride also showed me I need to up my distance and endurance.

Cycling - the beginning

Two months ago I entered into a bike store with the idea of purchasing a bike to help with my foot recovery and to get back into shape. Nine weeks prior to the bike purchase I had major foot surgery, and although my foot healed nicely I was unable to run or walk very far. I did not want to take time out to go to the gym with the nice weather, so I decide buying a bike would give me something to do outside that would not aggrevate my foot. Going to the closest bike store I made my first bike purchase--a mountain bike made specifically for women. What a great bike. It is perfects for the beginner and perfect for my needs. I did not want to buy something too expensive, and I wanted a bike I could ride around town and ride on the trails in the mountains around me. Before I bought the bike I had the opportunity to test it out in the parking lot. I am sure the salesman thought there was no way I would ride much. I had a difficult time balancing and riding--lets just say I was very wobbily on the bike. I was lucky I was able to stay on the bike (I think the last time I was on a bike was when I was in middle school) Because of my lack of ability I am sure this is why I only purchased the very basics--a helmet, glasses, and water bottle holder. With that I hopped on my new bike and rode it 4 miles to home. That ride was scarey for me. I rode very slow, worried I would fall off or get hit by a car, because of my inability to ride well, but I made it home in one piece.

The next day I took my bike out with my 8 year old and we went for a 2 hour bike ride, and the love for the bike began. I began to go out riding a couple of times a week, wishing I could do more, but having to wait due to softball season and playing 5 hours a week. Every time I could find the opportunity I would take a moment to hop on my bike. The more I rode the more I realized I needed more so I could ride in comfort. I found a great bike store, with female cyclists, and began to get outfitted correctly. My husband also caught the fever and our family has begun to go on rides in the mountains and around town. We bought a bike rack for the car so we would not be limited to only the trails close by. Now not only me, but my family has started to become bike enthusits. Last week my 8 year old and I rode on the 10 mile Breast Cancer Awareness Ride. She had so much fun she was wishing I would have let her do the 20 mile ride.

I don't know how to explain the love for the bike other than there is nothing else like it. Each time I ride I come home feeling uplifted and can't wait to get back out. I love the freedom of being outside, riding on the trails, or on the road and feeling the rush of the wind go by. I love getting better and better and learning how to ride my bike better. I laugh as I am learning to clip and unclip into the peddles and of course hope that there will not be any major falls due to the lack of coordination of trying to get my foot out of the peddles. When I get home my senses are heightened and I wish I could bike just a little bit longer. I watch the weather to determine if there is going to be a rain storm or not. No rain storm means we are out biking. Surprisingly the cold weather has not deterred me. I am not a lover of the cold, but when dressed properly it does not feel so cold on the bike. Of course it is still early in the cold season, so this sentiment may change. I am constantly looking for new places to ride and reading on how to become a better rider.

The other day I got the courage up to ask about the gear shifter on the left hand and what they were for--yes now I know it is the derailluer. When I bought the bike unfortunately this was not something the salesman thought I needed to know. My new friends at the new bike store explained the ins and outs and now I am loving playing with shifting and learning how to maximize the use of my bike. It is still a bit confusing to me, but as I climb hills and go down I am learning how each gear works and what works best for me--this is sooo cool.

Last week I upgraded and bought a road bike! Wow, what a difference versus the mountain bike. I can't believe how fast I can go on the road and how much easier it is to travel longer distances. Of course I am still in the wobbily stage, but hopefully I will get my balance soon, like I did with my mountain bike, and will be able to learn to ride much better. I love biking and now I can experience both mountain and road the best possible way.