Not My Will, But Thy Will

 A lot of my focus in life is living the way Christ and Heavenly Father would want me to live. Following the path that they have planned for me, and trusting in the process. This is much easier said than done. Sometimes it can be scary trying to figure out exactly what it is I am supposed to be doing and what direction I need to go. However, when I follow, and I trust in the process I have never been let down.

A great example of this is how I ended up working at Ancestry.com. The housing market had crashed, and unemployment was high—jobs were scarce. I had just become a causality of the times, and lost my job due to downsizing. A job became available at Ancestry.com, but is was in the call center. This job would cut my income by more than half of what I had been earning before. I prayed about the job, and decided to take it not knowing what the future would bring. It was humbling working in a call center, but I knew it was the right place to be. Within less than a year I was promoted out of the call center, and into corporate increasing my wages close to what I had been earning before. During this time, I became a single mom. It turns out by working at ancestry.com I not only had the financial capabilities of providing for my family, but the flexibility. I could go to work early, and leave early if necessary. This turned out to be valuable when it came to being with my daughter. I could attend her school functions, and when she got a severe concussion and had to stay home for a month. I had the opportunity to work from home as I needed. This would have been difficult anywhere else. By trusting in God, and trusting in the process everything turned out for the best.

This brings me today. Having failed the Nebraska bar by less than a point, I wondered what I was to do next. Do I take the bar, or do I try to get licensed in one of the fifteen other states I was eligible to work? Not sure I decided to reach out and do some networking in Iowa, and see what the results would be. I chose Iowa, because it borders where I live, and I would not have to move my daughter her senior year.

The networking paid off, and within a week I found a job forty to fifty minutes away from my home. The way the job became available, I knew this was the right place, and I knew God had put me on the path he intended for now. I quickly sent off my $525, along with my application, to the Iowa bar admissions and began work immediately.

Although I could not practice law immediately. I could be a law clerk while I awaited the approval of my bar application. This allowed me many great opportunities to go to court, draft various documents, and get to know criminal law—not an area I had practice before. However, it did not take long for me to realize that I was not going to be at the job if I had expected. Things were not what they had seemed, or what I had been told. I prayed for guidance, as things began to turn less than optimal. My decision was to begin looking for a new job. The plan was to being looking this weekend. It turned out that my decision was expedited.

On Friday, around noon, my boss told me that he had decided he did not want to grow his firm. He had taken me on to see if he wanted an associate, and decided this was not the direction he wanted to go. My work he said was fine, and I would be an excellent lawyer, but he wanted to keep things small. However, he would be happy to assist me in any way he could in finding a job. That was it. The job was over, and I no longer had an income coming in. In addition, I had just stopped getting food stamps because I was working. Then there was the $525 for a license I would not be using anytime soon. As well as some other expenditures, I had made because I did have a steady income that I had not planned on being cut short. Luckily I got ahold of SNAP, and had my food stamps reinstated. As far as the license, I’m still waiting on the background check, so I cannot work as an attorney now, and thank goodness I applied to retake the bar in February.

I have felt lost throughout this time. I knew that I needed to leave the job. I knew that it was not right for me, but originally it was. But why? What was the purpose heavenly father had in mind? Why did he put me at that job, and then allow it to go away? What am I supposed to do? I feel so lost, and unsure of the direction I am supposed to go. What is it the lord wants me to do?

Then it came to me today as I woke up. Luke 22:42-43, “not my will, but thine, be done.” The thing that I have said throughout my entire law school journey. I would do whatever it is he has planned for me to do. As I read verse 43 the following stood out, an “angel from heaven [will] strengthen [you].” Despite the fact I do not know what to do. Despite the fact I have no idea of the result, I know that heavenly father will be here for me. He will strengthen me, support me, and take me on the best path. Yes, it is scary, yes I feel lost, and yes I am somewhat confused as to where I am supposed to go. But right now, I feel comforted, because I know he will not lead me wrong, and he will be there for me every step of the way.

The Interview

A lot of you know my ups and downs with jobs the last few years.  Housing industry crashed, position eliminated, company downsized.  Enough job instability to make a person nervous.  However, with all that said I have always been able to find a job and feel fortunate to be working, but my current job is not my dream job.

It is a good company I work for.  They take good care of their employees, there are good benefits, however, it does not utilize the majority of my skills--I spend most of my time on the phone all day.  This company has great stability and good opportunity for growth, so   I was hoping eventually I would have the chance for an in house transfers but those opportunities have been very few and far between.  So finally last week I decided perhaps it was time to look and see what else was available.  I did and I found my dream job--one that makes your eyes get as big as saucers.

The position is for a sports secretary.  For those who know how much I love sports and also those who know how much I love to make reports, type, organize and do office work you know this is the perfect job for me.  I applied without much hope of getting an interview, because well the fact of the matter is the job market is tough and a lot of people are looking.  Guess what!!!  I got an interview!!!

I interviewed today and the interview went well.  It is not often I leave an interview and feel like things went well.  In fact, I usually leave thinking I totally botched the interview.  But this time I left happy with how I did.  I was able to talk about my skills and experience, and there should be no doubt how much I love sports and helping others in their sports endeavors.  However, that in no way makes me think the people I interviewed thought I did a good job.  They may think I am totally not right for the position (although I would definitely would disagree with them).  But it is not often I actually feel like I did well at something.  So I guess that is why I am writing, because today something went well and it is fun to share.

The Job-Need Help

I haven't been writing much about riding or mountain biking much lately, because I still have 2 more weeks before I can mountain bike, and well riding outside has been somewhat limited.  I have a lot of ideas of what to write about, but well, obviously they have not made it in the blog.  But today I have something to write about.  Mostly to reach out and see if anyone out there can help or give some good direction.

As some of you know last year I worked for for a company that was okay, but I had a boss that was the devils wife, no that is being nice, more like the devils mom (and I don't mean this lightly).  She had to be the meanest, most horrible person I ever met, and loved making people miserable.  I watched her demoralize many an employee, and personally attack them--the worse part was they let her.  My problem, I wouldn't let her, and was constantly standing up (in a professional way) to her tactics--which meant there was no love loss from either of us when eventually I lost my job (my position was conviently eliminated).

Two weeks after I lost my job, I got a great job.  It was a job with lots of promotion opportunity
mid-level pay, and the opportunity to help others.  The only drawback at the time was commuting 45-60 minutes one way.  No big deal, I have commuted before.  Unfortunately things did not turn out how I hoped.

The day before I started my job, the guy who was supposed to be my boss was let go, and I started with no boss.  For the next month I basically trained myself, learned what I needed to and waited for a new boss to be appointed.  No big deal, because the job is good and I love working with the students.  But there were some changes that I was not expecting.

The biggest change was my hours.  Originally I was told I would only work 1 out of every Saturday.  Although not the most desirable thing to work on a Saturday, the hours are only 9am - 1pm, and once in a while that is not so bad.  Well it turns out I have worked almost every Saturday since starting, plus some holiday weekends--actually had to cancel some travel plans.  The other challenge my daily work hours.  I work M, W 11am-8pm, T, TH, Fr 8am-5pm.  Now these hours wouldn't be so bad if they were my actual hours, but they're not.  Add the commute time, the extra hour I tend to work, because I would never leave a student mid-advising, I typically don't get home until 7pm and 10 pm at night.  For some this is okay, but for me it is not.  I have a family that needs me at home, helping them, putting them to bed, and just being there for them--plus my husband works the night shift, so someone needs to be at home.

This week the school announced they are going to change their hours and by the end of February my hours are going to change where I will need to work late some Friday nights and I still will need to work more Saturdays than I was originally told.  I approached my boss about the hours, my concerns and how it is affecting my family.  She was very understanding, but of course will not be able to make any accomidations--which I completely understand.  She did let me know she would be happy to be a reference for me if I decide to search for another job.

So what does this mean to me.  It means I need to find a new job by the end of February.  The nice thing is my boss knows I need to look for a new job, and she will gladly give anybody a reference if they need it, and I get to keep my job while I look.  My concerns are I haven't been at this job very long, and how is it going to look to a perspective employer I am changing jobs so soon--especially in the type of economy we have right now. 

My other concern is what is out there, and what can I get.  I do not have any technical experience with computers, so that is out.  I have a degree in psychology, which does not mean much other than I can do a lot of different things, but nothing specific like market analyst. In a nutshell, I have a lot of advising, consulting, marketing, advertising, sales experience; as well as I have been a caseworker and kick butt when it comes to clerical work, and creating reports or systems to help companies run more efficently.  The biggest thing, I love helping people and helping them make a difference in their life.  Anyway, if you know of something out there, would like to see my resume or can forward it on I would appreciate it.  Thanks.