Priorities

Today is my birthday. I had a lot of plans and priorities for the day, and was very excited. First on the agenda was to drop off cupcakes at the finish line for the volunteers and for the racers in my division. Next priority was to ride hard and hopefully get a blue ribbon for my birthday. Then finally was cheer and support Mandy on in her race. It's amazing how quickly priorities can change.

The night before the race Mandy and I had planned on me riding her race with her. I knew it was long and I wanted her to know I would be there for her along the way. I wasn't worried about the race starting without us, because Ed had said he wouldn't start the race until everyone had finished. On the way up Mandy decided she didn't need me to ride that she could do it herself. I was actually fine with this for purely selfish reasons, I didn't want to ride the hill more than I had to, and I had hurt my leg the night before and was concerned it would hurt it more. I had a little of the overly protective mother worry, but decided she would be fine. About 5 minutes before the race started Mandy changed her mind, she did want me to ride. I told her I couldn't, that she would be fine.

As she took off up the hill I watched her ride until she ended up getting off her bike to walk it. I kept watching her for a bit with a nagging feeling I should go get on my bike and ride with her. I could tell she was going to be in the back and I knew she could be a little lonely riding by herself. I went off to get my bike, but got distracted taking pictures, making a pit stop and visiting others along the way. By the time I got to my bike I decided Mandy would be okay and I would ride around for warm up. After a bit I heard Ed call me to the start line. He wanted to let me know Mandy was still out there as well as one other rider. However it wasn't long before, the other rider showed up coming up the grass--he had come out on the road and got lost off the trail. I looked at Ed and asked if he had anyone out there. There was, so he checked if they had seen Mandy. They had seen a rider, but were not sure who the rider was they saw. After a while we heard back and the confirmation was they had seen her and she was coming. I told Ed I was going to meet her, and took off.

I went backwards on the trail to meet Mandy and come with her down. As I rode I did not see her. I rode up to the half lap signs and still no sign of Mandy. I continued riding down the trail all the way to the road crossing and the trail across the road....still no Mandy. At this point I am calling out for her hoping she will hear me and answer back--there was no answer. I called out a little bit more and still no answer. I took off back to the start line, hoping she had gone on the road was already back at the start line. When I got back Mandy was not there and everyone was lined up to race. I let Ed know I could not find her, and he called the guys and told them to get the guys on the motor bikes thinking Mandy passed the half lap and went up. At this point I started to have tears and get worried. We had no idea where my daughter was--she could be up on the trail somewhere, she could be on the road going to Park City, or she could be hurt somewhere and no one knew where.

I stayed at the start line as the riders took off and waited hoping they would find Mandy soon. Group by group I watched the riders go, and kept hoping I would hear over the walkie talkies they had found her. They finally came up to the group before mine, so I went back to stand with them. At this point I was not sure if I would ride or not. I got in line and everyone wanted to know if I was okay. That was all it took, I broke down in tears and let them know Mandy was missing. All of the ladies were compassionate and concerned, which caused me to cry more. It was right about then I saw a motorcycle pull up, but there was no Mandy. That was it and the waterworks began. A woman standing by came up and gave me a hug and asked if I would be okay. This helped and I calmed down a little. By this time Ed had sent off my group to race--I didn't even realize it. The woman who had hugged me asked if I was going to race or not. I turned around and took off--I wasn't going to race I was going to find my daughter.

Although the first hill was hard I went faster than I planned and passed a large group of people. As we hit the flat and headed to the next steep I continued my pace and picked it up some. I saw Gigi ahead and I was very impressed how she had put such a distance between me and all of the other riders. She was kicking butt. Apparently she could hear me coming up on her and she commented. I think she said something about me needing to catch her, but I don't remember exactly, but it was encouraging. I picked up my speed and came up by her. When I got by her I decided it was time for a little smack talk. I told her "I let you have a head start", her reply "I have MS", mine back "my daughter is missing" I then passed her and on my way up let her know that when I found my daughter I was done racing.

I got to the top and down we went and then back up. We were lined up one by one as we climbed the single track, but passing was fairly easy. However then we hit the downhill and passing was not as easy. I let one rider pass me on the downhill--he was obviously better than me. I followed him closely as we went down the switchbacks in the trees and then down the switchbacks in the clear part. At this point it became a pile up. I let the people know they needed to go faster or pull over. The guy in front of me agreed, apparently though I was the only one vocalizing it. We headed straight and it was right then I came upon my daughter with a guy! She saw me and was in tears. I gave her a hug and held her close to let her know she was okay. Thinking this was one of the search guys I asked him if he could take her back and I would continue on. He let me know he was racing, but actually was starting to take her. As soon as he said that I told him to hurry and go and race. Mandy and I had a little bit more of a hug session and then I turned her around and down the trail we went.

As we rode a rider would come up and I would have her pull over so the rider could pass, then we would continue on our way. After a bit Gigi came up on us, but she didn't ask to pass. All she said was "is this your kid Kendra" I let her know it was and I was staying with her on the ride. She kept riding but still did not ask to pass. I told Mandy to pull over and then told Gigi to go pass and race. Bless her heart I think she would have stayed with us if I had let her. We continued to ride and little by little rider after rider passed us. We continued on and then the pros started to pass us. I asked Bart G (since he was the first pro to pass) if he would let Ed know the lost rider was found, he said "thank you." I called out that he obviously did not hear what I said. About 30 seconds later Chris Holley pulled up we moved over, and I asked him to let Ed know. He said he would try. We continued going, but it was difficult now because rider after rider was passing. Mandy stayed off her bike and walked her bike off the trail. I would ride ahead and wait off the trail until she caught me. We did this all the way up to about 12 feet from the road crossing where at this point one of the searchers saw us. He told me he would take her at this point to Ed and I could go on. Unfortunately I could not get back on my bike and ride because the riders were coming in droves. I had to run up to the road and jump on at the road so I would not hold up the pack. By the way sorry Brad for saying hi here I did not mean to give away you were there.

On the road I took off. It felt good to finally be able to ride hard and to know my daughter was okay. Now I had to work off all of the emotion I had been keeping bottled up. I rode up the trail to the turn at the half lap, it was here I thought I saw a rider in my group going the wrong direction. I went a little off the trail and paused, but apparently the rider behind me did not like this and told me "hey this is a race" I said something back to him that was not as nice. I then took off up the hill. I passed some of the riders I had seen on the course earlier and was passed by riders in other divisions. It was weird as I usually never see these riders. A lot of them would come and say my name with a little surprise. I am guessing they did not know what had happened. In fact I am hoping they did not, because honestly just how important is the race.

The guy that helped Mandy (Fred Grimmer) was in the Men's Sport 40+, and I will never be able to thank him enough for what he did. He decided to not place well and help someone in need, and in this case it was my daughter. How many riders went by Mandy going down the trail crying and didn't think to stop to help her. In fact, they didn't ask if she needed help. It makes me sad to think no one up until him stopped or asked her if she needed help. However, I guess you don't ask if you are not going to help.

This has taught me something very valuable. I am very competitive, and yet I have always asked a stranded or crashed rider if they needed help. Up til now I have not needed to help, and I always wondered if I would help them if they needed it, now I know I would. As competitive as I am there is always something more than the ribbon at the end.

I finished the race last in my division, and it is the best last place I have ever had--I wouldn't trade it for the world. When I talk or think about what happened today I still get choked up. It is very scary not knowing if your child is okay or where they are at. We learned a lot from this experience. One, if we can't pre-ride due to weather conditions or something else I will be riding the course with Mandy. Two, if we can pre-ride the course. Three, Mandy has learned to stay in the same direction on the trail and keep going unless she has to choose and doesn't see any markers, then she needs to stay put. For a 9 year old this was a scary experience, but she came out okay and has taken a lot away from it.