Friends - Snow Basin Crash

The final ICup race.  The race that determined which team would take home the team cup and who would win the overall for the season.  For me there was no chance for any overall win, but it was a chance to put my legs to the test and ride a course I knew I could do well on.

Our start was a group start with the Men 57+, and the 13-15 years old.  My plans for this race was to take the first climb at a relaxed pace, the second climb put a little bit more umph to it, and then when I hit the singletrack to just pound.  Everything went as planned.  By the end of the first climb I was in last--no worries because I knew this was my course.  End of the second climb I passed on rider and entered into the singletrack with no one in sight.  I began to pound working my way along the course.  After a bit I began to worry I had let everyone get too far ahead and I might not catch them, but then I saw it.  I puff of dirt.  A good sign there were riders close by.

I continued to pound and soon was rewarded.  I saw riders.  Little by little I began to pass each rider.  And my thanks to each rider, this is the first time during an ICup race I didn't have to beg and plead to pass.  I began to pass women in my division.  Each of them were awesome and let me by.  After a moment I had worked my way from last to 3rd place.  I couldn't believe it.  I was feeling good, my legs were working well and I thought I could definitely hold this pace without blowing up.  Of course somewhere in the back of my mind came the thought "it's 2 laps, anything can happen in 2 laps".  Actually I have this thought every race, it's what keeps me going.

My race is going well, when I reach a little bit more of a climb than I planned for.  I slow down a bit, but still things are going well.  Then I hear a rider behind ask to pass--of course she is in my division.  I let her go without too much concern, because I knew in the next half mile I would be passing her back and I knew I could totally kill the downhill leaving her and others far behind.  We hit a nice flat spot again and my speed increased I decide now is the time to catch the girl that passed me not too long ago.  I hit a nice turn with a quick up, so I shift and go to pedal hard and that's it.  That's the last thing I remember. 

I don't remember flying through the air.  Not a thing, no seeing the ground, no flying through the air--I remember nothing.  I don't remember Colleen screaming.  The only reason I know she screamed is she told me.  The first thing I remember is hitting my head on rocks really hard.  So hard the first thought that came to my mind was "that's the hardest I've hit my helmet, I bet I broke it" Then the rest of my body hit and it was an instant shock to my spine, leg and hip.  My hip had hit a rock so hard that I knew I was not leaving that spot.  I lay there as Colleen asked me if I was okay.  Normally by this time I would have jumped up, said I was fine and took off.  Unfortunately this was not the case.  My response was no, I've hurt my hip and can't get up.

I stayed where I was and soon the rest of the women in my division rode up.  These women were great.  Marian took off to tell the course marshal's there had been and accident, Kory and Kat helped to slow down riders as they came around the blind corner, and Colleen kept the bugs off of me, kept checking to make sure I was doing okay and let the riders know to stop and get off to go around me. Eventually she and Kat stood right over me to keep riders from riding by me and to protect me from getting hurt.  For those who were at the race you know I was in a percarious place right by a group of rocks, and the safest way around me was to go around me--not ride around me, but get off and walk around me.   Apparently 2 riders thought the race was too important to take the 2 extra seconds to go around me and rode right up the rocks by me.  One slip and they would have landed on me and hurt me worse.  That is what led to Kat and Colleen standing over me.

While we waited the gals kept me entertained--good and bad, because laughing really hurt.  We had to wait a really long time for the EMT's to arrive--by long time, I mean long enough I believe almost every division passed us by before the EMT's got to me.  Which was fine, I wasn't going anywhere.  While waiting there wasn't one rider that didn't offer to help or show their concern as I laid stretched out across the trail. Each offered theirs words of concern and support.  There were many willing to give up their race to help and assist me.  We sent them on their way the Sport Women had it covered. 

When the EMT's arrived that's when it started to get really interesting.  By interesting I mean they started to assess my injuries.  It was then I discovered I hurt more than just my hip.  Ouch my shoulder hurt and yes my kneck is tender, oh and yeah those ribs don't feel too hot either.  Once the assessment was overwe had to wait for the rest of search and rescue to arrive.  While waiting the EMT explained to me they were going to backboard me and take me to the ambulance and then the ambulance would take me to the hospital.  I didn't like this idea and told them I needed to be dropped off at Snow Basin.  Colleen then gave me the motherly "Kendra you need to go to the hospital" talk.  She was right, but I really didn't want to leave--of course this thought left my mind the instant they backboarded me.

The crash it hurt, but not near as bad as the rest of the stuff I went through.  When they backboarded me I was screaming and crying in pain.  You see the whole right side of my body was injured from my shoulder all the way down my leg and there was no way they could get me on without pushing on an area that was injured.  Once on the board they secured me so tight there was no way I was going to budge an inch.  I was so disappointed I cried, I know that's dumb, but it just made me feel like such a wimp.  Collen and the girls made sure I got all of my stuff.  They kept search and rescue from cutting my camelbak, helped with my glasses and broken helmet and then made sure my bike was rescued too.  You see I kept worrying about my bike. 

I won't tell you the rest of the trip was good, because it wasn't.  The ride to the ambulance and the ride to the hospital was very painful.  And all the tests, cat scans and xrays were not without pain.  My initial diagnosis ended up with a mild concussion, whip lash, deep tissue bruising to my hip, bruised ribs and unknown to my shoulder.  I saw the sports medicine doctor on Monday and the diagnosis on the shoulder changed to broken scapula.  Two weeks later after an MRI and only mild improvement the diagnosis on the shoulder became a torn laberal and seperation of the ACL, no broken scapula.  It took almost 2 weeks before I was able to sit up for a good lenght of time, but little by little I have been feeling much better.  Surgery is next week and then I will be back on the bike about 6 weeks later--just in time for cross season.  A funny side note,there are no pictures.  Apparently none of us take our cameras with us during a race.

The part that will always remain with me was the kindness of each rider on the trail and all of the women in my division that gave up their race and placing to help me.  I always knew I raced with a cool bunch of women, but that day they proved just how really cool they were.  Last year I stopped my race to help another racer, this year it was returned ten fold.  I can't tell you how priveledged I feel to know these women as well as all the other riders who showed their concern and caring during and after the race.  I always knew the mountain bike community was great, but now it has been proven. 

What is My Fitness Level?

As the first ICup race of the season approaches I have been asking this question over and over again.  What is my fitness level?  How am I going to do at the race?  Have I improved any?  Have I done enough that I feel like I made progress from last year to this year?  These and many other questions have been going through my mind.  As I have been calling friends and making plans for the upcoming trip to the race I have discovered I am not the only one with this question.  Apparently everyone else is wondering the same thing!
How nice it is to discover I am not the only one wondering where my fitness level is.  I guess we all have the same or similar questions as we head towards the first ICup race. 

So how do you determine your fitness level?  This is the question I am trying to answer.  For me I don't think it is going to be about winning the race.  Of course I would love to win, but realistically speaking I know I am not there yet.  Last time I was on a mountain bike was in November!  Since then it has been the trainer, and I have done my best on the trainer, but there is nothing that compares to the actual ride.  My weight--well, I am lighter, but still not even close to where I need to be.  So I go into this with not the expectation of winning, but of doing well.  Am I settling?  I don't think so, I think I am being realistic, but I am not counting myself out.

What is "doing well", as I contemplate this I think it is coming in where I came in last year or better.  I feel as if my heart is doing great, so I want to be where I was last year at this time or better.  Big dreams--well we all need to dream big.  Also, I do not want to take last, or 2nd to last.  To some this may not be a big deal, but really after all of the struggles from last year, watching everyone take off ahead of me was so frustrating and discouraging I need something different.  Yes, I get it my heart was healing and I couldn't go faster, but I want it to be be different this year.  With that said if I end up taking last or close to last I guarantee it will only motivate me more.

So how do you determine your fitness level?  What will you be satisfied, or will you be satisfied?

The Canyons Finale

There were no expectations for this last race.  Due to being sick and Royce having surgery I did not get to pre-ride the course.  I had gotten some good descriptions, but had a hard time visualizing it except for the fire road climb up and down--luckily that part was taken out.

There were 11 women in my division for this race which is a great showing.  Our group got off to a rough start 2 women ended up skidding on the loose dirt with one of them bring me down.  She was very apologetic, and I told her no worries--stuff happens  The climb was not so bad, and I was able to see most of the group (a first in a long time) up until we entered the singletrack.  At that point they became lost in the trees and turns.

The climb seemed long, even though it wasn't, and I persisted at the best pace I could go.  At one point there was a long train of racers behind me.  This really concerned me, I was worried I was holding people up, but no one asked to pass, so I kept going.  Eventually a couple of people passed and I kept pluggin' along.  Boy was I happy when we made the down hill.

I "killed" the down hill!  Everyone that passed me going up, I passed back and I ended up passing some that had started in front of me.  Everyone was great about letting me pass and because of their cooperation I ended up coming in for my 2nd lap with two others from my division--a first!

The second lap was short since we did the 12 year old lap.  The gals that came in with me on the first lap ended up putting only a short distance between us on the climb.  I felt confidant I could pass them on the down hill.  Just prior to entering the single track one of the gals got a flat.  Up next was to catch the second gal.  I ripped down the hill and was closing the gap when I ended up falling/bobbling on the last switchback.  I got back on my bike and took off, but it was just enough to prevent me from catching her.

I took 7th place and was only 7 minutes behind 2nd place and seperated by just minutes with the other places!  I finally am seeing progress as I work my way towards recovery. 

Surprisingly I took 3rd overall for the season.  I am happy about the overall win, but somewhat ambivalent.  I don't know that I really deserve it.  I didn't show up to all of the races, for obvious races (the surgery and such).  I only placed in the top 3 and 4 one or 2 times, the rest of the time I was mid-pack or at the very bottom.  I was never the fastest person out there or for that matter even remotely close.  So there are mixed feelings about the whole thing.  But I won it and now can aim for something higher.

Picture taken by Lyna Saffell

The season was good and very hard, I am somewhat relieved it is over.  I don't know that anyone should use racing as part of their recovery, but I did--no regrets.  I learned a lot about myself.  There were many times I wondered why I was doing this, but it seems each race there was someone or something to remind me.  I am glad the season is over now and I can just ride and really begin my way towards recovery--I think it is long over do.

My DNF

I have been sick this week, but felt good this morning, and was ready to race.  I was excited to race this course.  I warmed up, chatted with others and lined up.  We started the race with the 57+, and the 13-15 sport.  Somehow I ended up on the front of the line.  This made me slightly uncomfortable, but it turned out okay.  Everyone went by me, and I was able to hang with the group at the tail end. 

On the climb I was on the back, but passed one girl, and was on the tail of 3 others.  Unfortunately the 2nd girl could not ride downhill very well and the front girl started to pull away.  The 2nd girl was able to pass on the inside of a switchback, and then we hit the rocks.  Now it was just me and this girl with me trying to get around.  I tried and tried, but she was all over the trail and I could not pass safely.  Luckily for me she finally dropped something from her bike and stopped and I got by.

From here I picked up the pace a bit so I could catch up to the others.  It was also here I began to be very sick to my stomach.  The nausea stayed and kept getting worse and worse.  I tried to throw up at one point, but it settled down.  Then about 2.5 miles in I threw up--yes while I was riding.  I dry heaved a couple of times, pulled over and threw up a couple of more times into the bushes.  From here on out I felt miserable.  I was hot, dizzy, nausatious, and kept dry heaving.  I was hoping it would go away, but no go.

At the half loop I was tempted to go down, but decided to try and do a full loop to see if I could shake it off.  I went another half mile, dry heaved and turned around.  I was done.  I walked back to the half loop (had to stay off the trail for racers), got on my bike at the half loop and rode down.  I was pretty wiped out by the time I reached the bottom.  I went to my car, changed and then had to walk up to get my water bottle.  Just walking up the hill about killed me.  I got my water bottle and sat for quite a while visiting with Jen and Kathy and watching riders go by.  You could see the course was wearing on them.

AFter resting a bit I got up and left.  I came come and went to bed.  I still feel sick to my stomach, and have the cold chills off and on.  I sure hope this goes away quickly, because the idea of being off my bike for very long is depressing.

Although this is my first DNF there is good news about the race.  The beginners did not catch me on the climb, no one in another division did!  Had I not gotten sick I don't think I would have been passed by any beginners or anyone other than Greg.  This is a good sign, my heart is getting better and I am beginning to feel better!  Let's cross our fingers for the next race.

Awww Solitude

That's what my husband said when he saw my race wounds.  They're almost identical to last years wounds, but not quite as bad.  I felt good before the start of todays race which has been rare this season.  I was looking forward to doing well, however my start was not an indicator of starting well.  We started out and the group was well ahead of me within less than a minute.  Just as I reached the single track I let 2 beginning men in front of me, knowing I would be slow on the hills......oops, my mistake.  They were a little slow going down the switchbacks and then we hit the little climb and neither of them could clear the rocks.  I ended up off my bike and having to go around them.  One of them was faster than me getting on his bike and took off, I ended up passing him on the next section.  Lesson learned.

The bobble at the first put me much further behind my group, lucky me when I hit the hill climb I did see Lauren, and that was the way it was the entire climb.  I kept in mind the whole time that this is only the first lap and anything could happen.  The climb on the full lap is long and in places steep.  My heart did not like the top of the climb and I had a few incidents, but luckily I was with Aaron (Racers) and Ryan (UMB) at the top, and they kept me going at a reasonable steady pace, and were there if I needed it.

The downhill for the upper loop was in awesome condition thanks to the rain we got the night before.  This made for an excellent downhill riding, and finally I was riding downhill well.  I was going fast and smooth and there was no hesitation as I rode.  I hit the down on the lower loop, and who should I see but Angelica with a flat.  She had her bike ready to go in case she got a tube, unfortunately for her she has 26 inch wheels and I have 29 so I couldn't help her out.  I then came around the bend and there was Lauren.  She had crashed hard.  I slowed down to see if she needed help, and she told me to keep riding.  I continued down stunned I had just passed 2 women in my field--anything can happen at a race.

I continued on the next lap tired , but kept a steady pace.  When there is no one to chase it is hard to go hard, and even if there was someone to race I can't push any harder than I was going.  I rode up to the top of the climb hit the road looked back for some reason and who should I see Angelica (that girl is fast).  I gave Ryan a grumbled remark about now I would really have to push it and took off.  I know Angelica is faster than me climbing, so my goal was to get into the downhill first and hopefully leave her behind.

I pulled into the down hill first, but Angelica was right no my tire.  You could hear our tires skidding the corners as we headed down the hill.  I kept the lead for a short time and then she cut in on the inside and pulled in front of me.  We stayed tire to tire until we came to a sharp right turn into the trees.  I did not see the sign showing the turn.  Angelica made the turn, I went straight--curse words!  I got back on track and pushed to go catch her.  I  was sure I could get her.  I was riding fast when I hit a rocky section with many large loose rocks.  My front wheel hit one of those rocks and skidded out.  There was nothing I could do and ended up crashing up the embakment and into trees and bushes.  This crash hurt.  I got up and rode, but was a little shaken.  I did not see Angelica until after the finish.

Although I didn't get to race Angelica all the way down the hill it sure was fun to be able to race someone.  Most races I don't see anyone in my group and racing becomes more of a thought than an action.  My crash left some good marks on my arm, but at least there is no blood like last year.

The Final Taming of the Tetons

I kept debating back and forth whether or not to go to Jackson.  I couldn't spend any time if I went, the cost of going by myself, going really far to race a race, I know I don't have a chance to place well.  Here comes Jessika and Wendy to the rescue--they were willing to car pool and share a room!  With cost significatly cut and people to ride with the not placing didn't matter.  I guess this means I don't just race to win.

We left Friday morning for Jackson.  The ride up was great, it is so much fun to have a girls trip, especially these girls--they know how to have fun.  When we got to Jackson we went up and pre-rode the course.  It was here we discovered this is going to be the last Jackson race.  They are going to turn the trails to downhill trails.  It's too bad, because I love the trails, but it is what it is.

Jessika and I had a lot of fun riding the trail.  The one thing about riding the trails for fun, you see things you never see while racing.  Very beautiful scenery.

Jessika on the pre-ride

Me on the trail.

What a view.

Race day was great.  The temperature was perfect and the little bit of rain we received that morning made most of the course perfect conditions.  I was a little nervous about doing 2 laps for this course.  I knew I could do one, and doing a half was doable, but 2 seemed daunting.  I started off good, but couldn't keep up my division on the hill climb.  After about a mile I lost the gals in my division and was riding with various men in different divisions.  This is good, because it is hard for me to push when no one is around, at least with someone I have enough pride to not back down--at least on the first lap.

The first lap went well, except I rode like a little girl on the down hill.  It was a bit frustrating, but I decided it really didn't matter too much.  We came off the down hill and there in front of me was "the hill".  I took a deep breath and rode until my heart said stop.  Lucky for me it was about 3/4 of the way up the hill.  After the hill there is one mile left of down hill, and then you circle back around for the 2nd lap. 

There was not rush for me to as I went through the 2nd lap, because I was tired!  From here out it was no longer a race, but a ride I needed to complete.  Thank goodness for all the people cheering as I rode.  Lucy's husband was awesome.  I heard him a couple of times cheering which totally helped me pedal my bike and keep going.

My 2nd lap I ended up stopping several times to let people pass, and in general was pretty beat.  By the time I got to the down hill something happened and I was able to ride much better on the down than my first lap.  I rode about the same on "the hill", and was sooo glad when I finished.

I finished my 2nd lap tired and trashed, but happy I finished.  It turns out I took 6th out of 8th, which I feel pretty good about.  I also had a faster 1st lap this year than last, so I am getting stronger.  Now if I can just get the strength down to do 2 laps strong. :-)

Thanks for taking the pic' Jess.

Best One Yet

I woke Saturday morning not sure if I was going to go to the race or not.  I wasn't sure if it would hurt me or not to race.  I had tried to find someone to car pool with that way I could blame going to the race on car pooling, but that didn't pan out.  So early Saturday morning I was riding around the neighborhood in my pjs determining if I hurt too much to ride.  Riding around the neighborhood was easy, so I made  the decision to go, and I am so glad I did.

Conditions for the race were great--nice weather, tacky trail, what more cold you ask for.  My laps went great.  I felt good the whole time, I kept hydrated like I needed to, I kept my nutrition up, and I made it through the race.  Yes, my legs got tired, but near the end where you would expect them to.  Yes, my heart rate did it's normal thing, but near the end not during the entire race.  Best of all I out did my time from last year!  I was faster on both my laps versus the one lap I did last year.  I finally am making improvement.  I have a long ways to go before I really get up to the Sport Division level, but this race showed me I am headed in the right direction.

Deer Valley Icup - The Tree

I love the Deer Valley race, but I am beginning to think it does not like me.  Last year was the incident with Mandy, and now this year.

The race was postponed to Wednesday, which I thought was going to work out fine for me until Tuesday night when I received a reminder call I had to see the doctor and needed to fast for the visit.  Fasting is never good for me.  With my Vasovagal Syncope I get dehyrdrated rather quickly.  When I fast the dehyrdration gets pretty bad, I get very dizzy and light headed and the vasovagal gets worse--meaning I am more likely to pass out and my blood pressure gets dangerously low.

I fasted Wednesday for my doctor visit, but did not get to eat until noon.  By the time I got home I was feeling sick, dizzy and dehydrated.  I ate when I got home drank 2 bottles of G2 Gatorade, and then ended up going to sleep until 3 pm, just because I didn't feel well.

When I woke up I felt okay, but still dehydrated.  I drank up until about an hour before the race, but was still dehyrdrated when we started the race.  I wasn't too worried, but hoped it would not affect me during the race.

The race started out in the wind and a light rain.  Standing on the start line was not so great, but as soon we got started I didn't notice the rain or the wind.  The initial climb up the road was brutually hard.  My legs were hurting, I kept hoping it would stop, but they didn't, and then as we were curving around the bend in the road my right quad cramped.  I didn't want to get off my bike and walk, but it hurt so bad I finally decided my pride would have to deal with me walking the bike.

I walked my bike to where the road levels out, and then got back on and rode up the hill.  I lost a lot of space from my division here, so I was hoping I would make it up on the down hill.  The trail was in great condition, so I was able to ride fast on the down hill and a lot of riders were very gracious and pulled over so I could pass them.  I appreciate this.

I eventually came upon 2 beginner riders that would not let me pass.  One tried, but my pass put me into a tree, so I couldn't get by.  After that they just would not let me pass.  I had to keep braking on the switchbacks, and more than once swore.  I let them know I wasn't swearing at them, but at my frustration.  However, my frustration was being slowed down and not being able to get closer to my group.

There were a few downed trees and branches on the trail.  One you had to duck under while you were riding.  One you actually had to get off your bike and go over or under whatever you chose to do.  I was hoping here the two riders would let me pass, but no go.  By this time I was getting pretty frustrated, as was the rider behind me.  Both of us could have gone a lot faster, and it is always frustrating when you can go faster than someone and they will not let you by. *Note to other riders, typically when someone asks to pass this means they can go faster than you and you are holding them up.

After the downed tree we continued to ride, and I kept looking for a place to pass.  I don't know if I was busy concentrating on trying to pass, or what, but all of the sudden I hit a turn and there was a tree partially slanted down into the trail.  I saw the tree and then bam I hit it!  All I remember is my back whipping back into an arc, and ending off by bike--I am really surprised I didn't break my back with the way I hit the tree.  Brayden (UMB) was behind me, and I am sure he could give a much better description of what happened.  I heard him gasp when I hit, and I remember him asking if I was okay.  I told him I was okay grabbed by bike and took off.

I continued to ride, and as I rode I noticed blood coming down both my legs.  Since I am on Plavix and Asprin, I figured I would bleed the whole time,and I did.  I continued to ride and caught back up to my two riders.  We were almost to the bottom, so I just decided to be patient and wait.  We hit the open switchback and I crashed.  I ended up going face forward.  Brayden was not far behind and asked if I was okay.  I waved him on and just sat there very frustrated.  Aaron (Racers) rode by and gave me some good words of wisdom, and I got back on my bike and started to ride.

Unfortunately I discovered my back was really hurting from my crash as well as the rest of my body.  I have ridden injured before, and I have done other sports injured, and I have never quit because of an injury.  On this race I actually wanted to quit I was hurting so bad.  I was thinking about taking the 12 and under and getting a DNF.  I never would have thought of doing this before, but my body hurt, and riding uphill made my back hurt pretty bad.  I kept telling my self it did not hurt, but it didn't help.

I mulled over my options and then decided not to quit.  There was only one other Mad Dog rider in Sport Women, which meant I could earn us team points, so I went forward and rode.  Eventually the race ended, and I missed out on an oppurtunity to get some cash.  I was so busy looking for a place to ride around the mud I missed the cash handout....bummer.

Today I am at home resting my back and my wounds--I feel like I was in a car accident, but nothing too serious.  Although Deer Valley race course seems to bring about some bad karma I still love this course and this race--there's always next year.

i

1st pic of the wounds.

A view of some of the wounds.

Right leg-I am guessing the front cartridge did this.

What you can't see are 3 small puncture wounds--I think they caused the most bleeding.

Those of us who stuck it out for podium.

Stan Cran - Icup #6

*This  is very, very long.  I thought about breaking it up, into parts, but couldn't seem to find the appropriate place.


I was nervous the morning of the race, which was kind of funny, because going to these races I have no expectations of placing. I think perhaps my nerves have to do with my expectations. I want to stay close to the group, I want to climb faster, I want to make it around. Perhaps this is what caused my nervousness.


The start line for the race was crowded, and I counted 15 women in our division, however there were only 14 that finished, so I must have counted someone twice. I knew most of the gals in the race, but there were a couple of new faces. With new faces there is always wonderment of their abilities.

One of the things I like about start line is visiting with the gals and catching up—funny how we use this time for socializing, it’s a good way to calm the nerves. One of the gals I was standing next to told me about how last year she was overweight and smoked, this year she is riding and doesn’t smoke—how cool is that.

The start of the race started pretty good. My plan was to stay back in about the middle of the pack. I didn’t want to be up front pushing, but I didn’t want to be in the very back and have to do a lot of catching up. I got in a good spot and felt good about how we were starting off—a long train line. But the first “oh no” came in less than a ½ a mile into the race course.

The very first of the race you go up the parking lot, onto single track with a quick up. If you have good speed this quick up is a piece of cake. Unfortunately someone did not get the memo and the girl on rider ahead of me, decided to brake just before the hill! I couldn’t believe it. Colleen (UMB), in front of me, had to brake, I had to brake, and you could hear brakes all the way back on the line—did I mention Clydesdale started 30 seconds behind us, so they may have been braking too.

It concerned me she broke on such an easy spot. As I watched her through the single track towards the pond, I decided it would be best if I went around her. When the single track opened up I looked for a way to get around Colleen, but the loose gravel, downed riders and other conditions made it not possible, so I ended up staying in the exact same place. The nice part was our entire division was a train and riding smoothly, and I was in feeling good about my place in the pack.

I guess the good feelings were not meant to last. Right after the tunnel on the quick left hand up, the same girl who broke got off her bike to walk (if I remember correctly, or slipped). Either way Colleen went to go around her on the right, and slipped off her bike. I went on the inside of both of them, but Colleen was not done slipping and ended up falling on my bike….ouch for her. Very frustrating for her and for me, as well as everyone behind us, because basically it caused a large domino affect. I quickly grabbed my bike and went up the hill to get back on, but it was done. Our train was no longer, and a gap had been made.

I hoped I could catch up, but today’s ride was not in the stars. Right now closing a gap is not something that I can do—at least not this race. However, I was very impressed with Gayle (Mad Dog) she was behind me when all of this occurred (I am not sure how far back), when we hit the service road, she sailed by working on closing the gap. She ended up in 7th place—how cool is that, imagine if all the other stuff hadn’t happened. I was so impressed with how she came back, what an awesome rider.

Hitting the service road and the single track I soon discovered my heart was not into the ride for the day. I wear a heart monitor when I ride and race, to see improvement, and to see what is going on when I feel certain symptoms. Well, I started to notice some symptoms as I was climbing on the single track to the second service road; I looked down and say my hr was at 177. This is not bad thing if it is short lived, but if it is long it is not so good. I decided I would just keep going and hopefully the hr would go down and I would be okay.

I hit the service road down and the hr dropped down. Here I had a lot of fun riding down, minus the incident with a beginner UMB rider-someone may want to tell him when he passes he needs to let people know. He almost took me out twice, he obviously did not realize how close he came by his comments, but had I not moved he would have hit me….ugh.

Eventually I hit the up on the service road and felt good. I rode faster than I had on Fridays pre-ride, and felt the pace was perfect for me. The hr was still way too high, but I felt good, so I kept up the pace—I am sure this was a mistake, but I guess you go until you can’t go anymore.

I felt good most of the lap, and then I hit the silica pit. I looked, and then I rode. I felt good enough to go up, and this lap it was better than walking. Once I got to the steep hill portion though I got off and walked—good thing too, because it was loose and torn up. At the top the rider behind me gave me a good push to ride off—thanks much it was appreciated.

I loved going down. It was fun and smooth. I had a kid in front of me, and I am guessing he was 12 or 13, but not too sure. Anyway, as we hit the final down I encouraged him to pedal fast so we could use our momentum to get up the hill. He did and we went down flying fast. I stayed a little bit back, which turned out to be a good thing. I hit the final turn just before the tunnel, and the kid that had been in front of me was on the ground crying saying he couldn’t breathe.

I locked my brakes, and assessed the situation. He was hurt, I was not in contention for anything, and he was hurt. I took a deep breath; I know how lame that is, but some decisions can be tough, and stayed to help. He said he couldn’t breathe, and I let him know he could because he was talking. His mouth was bleeding, his arm was bleeding, and he was definitely shook up. I yelled several times at the people by the tunnel to get a medic and eventually got a response. I moved the kid’s bike off the trail, and then someone else jumped in to help.

At this point I looked around and saw the people who had stepped in to assist were in the beginner rider category. I asked them if they would mind staying with him since I still had another lap to go and they said they would. I left, but some of the race had been taken out of me. I had been there for what felt like 3 to 4 minutes, but looking at my time later learned it was more like 2 minutes and 30 second. On my climb out of the tunnel I saw the kid on oxygen, glad the medics finally got to him.

I rode knowing now there was no way I would catch anyone. I don’t know if this was a defeatist or realistic attitude, but it was what it was. So I rode determined to try and finish hard. Once again, this was not in the stars. On the single track climb towards the service road down my hr continued to escalate, but this time my body started to feel the symptoms and I was becoming very fatigued. From here on out every hill climb was a struggle and my hr continued to jump way too high.

Riding up the service road I began to reflect on my decision of stopping to help the hurt kid. Was it a good decision, should I have helped him, or should I have moved his bike and just gone on. I decided it was good. If my child was hurt I would want to know someone thought it was more important to stop, than to race. I also worried maybe I should not have left until the medics came. Granted I made sure someone was with him, but maybe I should have stayed. As I was thinking about this and the race, the guy who helped create the race course rode up by me. We had a good conversation and I was reminded of how lucky I am to be doing what I am doing.

You see this guy knew about ASD’s. He was familiar with the device that was put in my heart, he knew all about my cardiologist, and he also knew about the healing process. In fact he knew with my particular device it would take longer to heal, but it was the better device. I needed this talk. As much as I know I am coming back and it is 6 months to 1 year of recovery, many times I see this as an excuse not a reason.

I often feel like I should be so much further than I am. I feel like I should be losing weight more quickly. I feel like I should be able to climb and pound up the hill like I used to, and I feel like 18 miles should be no big deal. And most of all I feel like the heart thing should not have changed anything, but it has, and sometimes I need to be reminded that it is real and not an excuse. I tell myself this often so as not to become discouraged with all of my “I could do that only a couple of months ago, why not now” attitude. So it was nice to talk with someone who had knowledge of an ASD and then let me know he was surprised they let me ride a bike so soon. Ah yes, I am reminded, I get to ride my bike how cool is that.

We rode a little further and then parted ways. For the race he was my gift and my reminder which helped me continue on my way. The rest of the race was a struggle, but I did it, and boy was I grateful when the downhill came, and even more so for the end of the race.

The end of this race was quite the struggle for me, I was tired and fatigued, but determined to finish. I think I could have gone 14 miles, but almost 18 miles did me in. However, one lap would have been too short, so I am making little improvements.

I missed awards and cheering for lady Mad Dogs who took 1st, 2nd & 3rd in Sport. Way to go ladies!!! I was busy looking for Mandy who I eventually found in the pond—should have known.

Soldier Hollow & More

I woke up this morning looking at the rain coming down and wondering if it was really going to be a good day for a race.  I made breakfast, and while it was cooking checked twitter to see if the race was still on--I was secretly hoping it was not, so I could go back to my nice warm bed, the idea of being in the cold, wet rain just did not seem appealing.  Much to my surprise the race was still on, so I ate, got ready and left for the race.

As I drove to the race I had my doubts about the conditions.  It was raining pretty hard, and mixed in with the rain was some snow.  It was this the whole drive up to the stop sign at Soldier Hollow and then it was nothing more than a light sprinkle.  I was completely amazed.
Snow on the course.

I was excited for the race today.  I felt good.  This week has been a good week for riding.  I feel like it is actually my first week on the bike where I have not suffered and had to push harder than I probably was supposed to.  The 2 weeks prior to this seemed more like a hurry and get on your bike so you can ride for the 12 hour race and then the week following was recover and ride.  This week I took it easy and followed the training plan Aaron has set up for me.  Aaron is sponsoring Mad Dog and part of the sponsorship was training some of the riders.  I am one of the lucky few who get training.  I have to say I feel very fortunate, because Aaron is familar working with people with health problmes, and he knows the little extras I need right now.  It also gives me some sort of plan to follow for recovery.

Getting to the start line today, I felt good about how I would be able to ride.  I had pre-ridden the course on Thursday and felt good when I finished the course.  As we lined up there were a total of 5 Mad Dog women on the start line--all my friends and all a great support.  We took off and for a portion of the start I stayed with them.  I ended up in the back on the hill climb, but this time I was on their wheels not way back.  We climbed and I continued to see them.  My goal was to stay with them as long as possible and I did--I was so excited.

As I climbed there was on UMB rider in front of me.  I was staying close, but could just not seem to get enough push to pass her.  I was riding hard, but I didn't want to push too hard and  blow up.  I kept reminding myself this was the first of the race and all I needed to do was keep her in my sight.  We rode and rode, and then all of the sudden we were to the first downhill.  It was here I was able to pass her.  I rode hard trying to put distance between us, but it was not enough.  Eventually she passed me.  I didn't give up, but kept riding and keeping her close in my sights.

This turned out to be a good thing, and eventually we hit a good hill climb, and I was finally able to catch her and pass.  From here I kept riding as hard as I could hoping she would not be able to catch me.  I also, was working really hard hoping I could get a glimpse of the gals in front of me.  It worked both ways.  I was able to keep ahead of the lady I passed, and on the uphill pavement climb I saw someone from my division.

When I finished I felt so good.  I had finished the course without any physical complications, and I had achieved two small goals, one to see the ladies in my division and two finish feeling good about what I had done. 

The end of the race was great.  I felt like I had accomplished something this race.  I feel like my health is starting to come back and I am making progress.  Although it is in baby steps it is progress.  I had a great time hanging out with the team after waiting on awards.  Oh, and the cool part--lady Mad Dogs did a 1st - 5th sweep, with me getting the lucky number!!!

Me - Fifth Place

Gayle - Tweety Chair

Tiffany - 3rd 

Heather - 2nd 

Jen - 1st

Women's Sport 1st - 6th

The Canyons

Mandy's 3rd place overall prize!

This race started out different than all of the rest. Usually our division starts near the back, but this time Ed started us at the first. It was pretty funny when we lined up in front of the pros, they were sure they were going to run us over, and of course they would if we were going on the same route, but our course had changed. Instead of doing a half and a full lap Ed had changed us to a full lap only. This meant we would be going up one way while the pros were going up a completely different way. It was actually very nerve racking being on the front line. Usually in the back we are joking around and visiting with each other, the front has a whole different feeling, much more pressure, less visiting and definitely less joking around.

Off the start I was not feeling too well. I was hot (like everyone else), dizzy and my stomach was not at it's best. Of course not feeling well did not stop me from starting out fairly strong, and in the front. As we went up the road I heard someone coming up behind me and knew it was Jolene. Not a few seconds later and we were riding side by side. As we were riding I mentioned I did not feel well, and Jolene told me I would feel better soon. She was right of course and she knows me. There is something that takes over and I forget about everything except riding.

Jolene and I rode up the road together and just before the turn into the single track I pulled behind her and told her to enter first. We rode up the singletrack together and pulled over together for a couple of the 16 year olds to pass. We did the same thing at Snowbird, pulling over together for people to pass. As we rode I would remember each switchback and how we needed to execute it. Eventually we came to the right hand switch back that you need to take very wide to get up. When we got to this switchback Jolene went wide but cut across, and didn't make it. By this time I was feeling good and took my chance to pass.

From this point on I brought my pace up and climbed. I don't know when it was Jolene and I became separated, but after a while I realized she was no longer behind me. This made for somewhat of a lonely ride and left me to many thoughts. Depending on how I was feeling I would think about the heat, my stomach, my favorite songs, other rides I have done--it's amazing what you end up thinking when you are riding by yourself. Eventually the climbing on the trail ended and I made it to the downhill.

I was ecstatic to reach the down hill. I had ridden the trail enough and felt I would be able to ride it at a good speed. This did not turn out to be the case. Instead I rode it like a sissy. I had a hard time negotiating the trail, I was getting bounced around and took turns much slower than I had a few days before. Somewhere on the lower loop Tiffany came up behind me and when we hit the up-down road near the end of the downhill she passed and I thought I would follow her line and do better, but this was not the case. I continued to ride poorly and only saw Tiffany for a short period of time.

While I as riding the downhill it finally dawned on me I hadn't seen Mandy yet! This was great, and I wondered if she had beat me to the finish line. It was not until the meadow part of the downhill at the hidden right hand switchback I saw Mandy. I passed her on the switchback and as I was riding I heard her call mom. I looked up, then behind me, slowed down and told her to follow me. We went along for a short time, and then I looked up and saw a red helmet at the top of the meadow. That meant only one thing Jolene was on her way down. I turned to Mandy and told her I had to go, and finished the last little part of the down and crossed the finish line. I then turned and watched as Mandy negotiated her way down the hill and crossed the finish line. Unfortunately she fell on the rocks on the final switchback and had to get cleaned up and bandaged by the paramedic, but the good news is she had fun and from what I heard did a great job with letting people pass.

I am a bit sad about this being the last Icup race of the season. It ended on a good note with me getting first at the race and first overall in my division. Mandy did great and got 3rd overall out of the girls in her division--she was a little sad she did not get recognized, but we made up for it with ice cream and the cute bracelets Dorothy sold for the Livestrong foundation. And although it is the end or Icup racing, it is not the end of riding and it leaves us with a lot to look forward to.

Coming up the road at the start.

Jolene and me riding side by side.

Good way to end the season.

Jackson Day 3 - Race Day!

Mandy's Race

Mandy was ready for her race. She was excited, because she had rode it the night before and liked the course and thought it was a lot of fun. Mandy got off to a good start and was doing well. When I passed her on the trail she let me know she had gotten off to a good start. That was last time I saw her. As I went through the course I saw she was staying with most of the group in her division and doing pretty well. I was pretty sure I would see her at the finish line when I got there.

When I got to the finish Mandy was not there. Of course due the Deer Valley scare I was a little worried, but soon riders from our team started coming in and letting me know where she was. When Mandy finished, she was discouraged and disheartened. She had weeds in her bike and looked like she need a good hug and a talk.

Mandy's race did not turn out how she hoped. There were a lot of people passing her and she kept having to get off her bike and then when she tried to get back on more people would come. She slipped off the trail and almost fell to her death on the cliff (those who do not know this course there are no cliffs on this trail only steep slopes)., but she didn't fall to her death and was able to get back on her bike and ride. Her feelings were hurt because everyone yelled to get by. She came in last again and was very discouraged.

My guess is most of the people were pretty polite, and just loud in passing. This is the first time Mandy has been passed by adults, and it can be very intimidating and overwhelming. I didn't think about it before the race, so I feel bad I did not prepare her for all of the people that would be passing her. We've talked and hopefully it helped. She did tell me she was done racing after this year, but then she said she wanted to race in St. George next year, so I guess we'll see. I always leave it up to her.
Mandy off to a good start.
Coming across the finish line.

My race got off to a tentative start. I had been in the bathroom a lot before the race and I was not sure if it was nerves or something I ate, but it sure seemed like something I ate. I was a little worried as my stomach was definitely not agreeing with me. Turned out Jolene was having the same problem, so I am thinking food, water or something else.

We started this race with the beginning women. I got off to the start really well, although going up the hill my legs were a little tired and not wanting to go. However my brain took over and the legs went. I stayed at the front, but could hear the group behind me. This trail makes it difficult to see who is directly behind you , so I kept going and all I could hear was the person breathing behind me. This was good, because I was breathing, but knew I could turn it up if I needed to. I kept going and it was not long before we came upon the 10-12 group of racers. Passing these racers kept us on our toes. They were good about letting us pass, but they did not quite know how to move out of the good line. I learned I can go over very tricky routes when I need to. I imagine by the time we got to them they were pretty frustrated with being passed, but they were all good sports and let us by.

After passing some of the 10-12 group we finally hit the switchbacks and I saw it was Tiffany following closely behind. This was okay for me as she was not in my division and I could settle into a good pace. We rode most of the uphill with me leading the way until just a short distance before the 10-12 turnoff when I had a slip and told her to pass. I then followed right behind her and up the first steep singletrack we went. I kept with Tiffany for the uphill until I bounced off the trail, and at the same time three riders came up right behind me and asked to pass. Of course it is okay as I am off the trail.

I continued going, following closely behind Tiffany, but she started to slow up on the hill. She asked if I wanted to go in front, and I almost did, but we hit a section of downhill, and I knew she could fly on the downhill, so instead I stayed tight on her wheel. Tiffany is good on the downhill, and I used her to draw my lines as we went down. On the final down she came out first on the road and then I came out a little bit later. There looming in front of us was the hill.

As we headed up I went by Tiffany and told her we are going to climb this hill all the way to the top. She agreed, but I could tell she was not convinced--the day before she only made it half way. Going up we passed a lot of people and kept strong to the center line. At times this was difficult as people were walking up the middle and they were not always quick or willing to move out of the center to let you pass. Luckily they eventually did and both Tiffany and I made it all the way to the top. However, the first minute of going down was tough. I actually stayed in my granny gear as I rode just trying to recover from the hill climb.

This time on the downhill I led up until we hit the 12 and under portion of the downhill and then had Tiffany pass for the remainder. As long as she was not in my division I was fine with her going ahead, especially since the down hill is her forte. We both finished and it was great having someone to trade off back and forth with and encourage each other along the way.

Getting off to a good start.

Finishing the race and happy.

After the race we had went down to Jackson to have some fun.

Time for some grub.

Happy faces now that our tummy's are full.

Mandy & Royce on the chair lift towards the Alpine Slide.

Royce going down the slide

Mandy posing in front of a huge statue.

The boy scouts collect these elk horns and sell them.

Watching the evening town square shoot out.

Time for dessert--a good way to end the day.

Solitude ICup State Championship

What a great morning for a race--perfect temperature and great course. The race started out going up a road and down single track. I rode downhill fairly tentative--I was being cautious due to my already broken nose. Once I hit the new part of the up hill I settled in to a good pace and rode--my legs felt good. On the downhill I felt great and as I went down I became more confident in my skills and less concerned about falling and hurting my nose.

The second lap I felt good, but I am pretty sure my body was tired. I slipped on a couple of uphill switchbacks, and I was talking with Patty as we rode up the trail--you cannot have conversations when you are at race pace. Since we were in different categories we stayed together without the pressure of losing our positions. As we headed into the down hill Patty let me in first since she felt I would go faster. I was feeling good this time around on the downhill and went much faster than the first time. On the down I passed Hayden on a rocky section and continued to feel confident, and then it happened. Somewhere a rock, a turn or something caused me to fly off my bike. I went down hard, on the left side of my body and hit the left side of my face. Luckily I did not hit my nose--just by it. I quickly jumped up, and let everyone that was around know that I was fine and to not tell my husband. I jumped back on my bike and continued down As I rode I discovered my seat had twisted to the side. Since it was near the end of the course I kept riding and finished with a crooked seat.

At the finish line I was pretty dirty and dusty and the people noticed my arm was ripped up--so much for keeping the crash a secret from my husband, I didn't even notice it, although there was a lot of blood. I was directed over to first aid where they actually took a hose to my arm and legs to get all of the dirt, rocks and blood off me. Once they were done it still wasn't clean enough so I had to go and scrub the dirt out of my wounds in the bathroom. The ladies in the bathroom were less than thrilled to see me grit my teeth and scrub out the blood and dirt. After I was done back to first aid to get bandage upped. Oh, and after all that I ended up in first place.
Sally and me on the podium. Dorthy had to go or she would also be on the podium.
Next Day - Sore and bruised, but anxious to get on my bike.

Snowbird Icup Race

The morning of the race started out a bit sluggish. For those of you who do not know, I play on four softball teams. Right now we are in tournament. Three of the teams I am on are very competitive and we usually place in the top two of our division, one of the teams is a family team and we are not the best, but not the worst. Last night was the family team tournament. We played at 7 pm and if we won we kept playing until we lost. I was not worried about playing all night due to our past games, so I did not get a sub for the night, instead I showed up to play. Well you guessed it we played all night. By the time we finished I had pulled lmy eg muscle and did not get home until 10:30 pm, which meant I did not get to bed until 11:30 pm. By the time I got up, drove to Snowbird and got to the start line I was feeling very tired and unmotivated to race.

It seems being unmotivated to race only plays a small part in how I ride. As we worked our way up the line to the start I started to get the nervous, anticipation feeling. My competitiveness was starting to kick in. At the start line it was the normal joking and then it was down to business. As we started I took off. I could feel the hang over from playing the night before, but that was okay I still was going to pull to the front, and I did. Mentally I was not completely up for this, but apparently I have a stronger drive than I realize.

I ended up at the front of the pack, but Jolene was right there with me. I could hear her as we rounded corners, and by this I mean we actually were talking about the race and the course. We pulled over together twice to let a couple of young riders pass, we talked about the course and how we did not like a turn, we discussed whether I was going fast enough or not--I decided I was, especially because I knew we had another lap to do. We talked back and forth throughout the entire first lap and stayed together the whole time. We had more than one spectator comment that we should be racing not socializing, and apparently Royce felt the same way. I disagree it was nice to have someone close that first lap.

The second lap was a little bit different. This lap we were not as close, but we were still pretty close. We rode fairly close together throughout the first of the single track and then we came to the new section of trail. I kept pretty steady through here and then when I hit the switchbacks I finally got into race mode and decided to turn up the pace a bit. This turned out to be a necessity for later in the race.

Going up the switchbacks I could see Jolene behind me instead of hear her behind. At the top of the hill I hit the dreaded gravel road. My first time down this hill Jolene caught me and stayed right behind me, the second time down I rode it much better and did not see her the entire time, although I knew she was close behind. By the time I got to the bottom under the chairlift/tram I saw Jolene closing the gap. Once again I picked up the pace a bit as I climbed the road to the single track. It was about this time I heard wheels coming up speedily behind me. If Jolene was going that fast I would be happy to let her pass me. It turned out to be a young boy going through some voice changes--he sounded a lot like her, I sure hope it changes for the better.



Heading down the single track to the finish all I could think was don't screw this up, and of course about the time I thought this I screwed it up. There is a large bridge you go over and then you go to a little up hill that has some rocks you need to clear. I have never struggled to get over these rocks, but this time I lost traction and ended up off my bike. I was sure Jolene was going to get me right there and pass me. Lucky for me she did not, but she sure did get close. Glad I had put a little bit of distance between us.

I continued along and kept pushing hoping to increase the distance between us. I know how good Jolene is at sprinting at the end and I really did not want to have to sprint against her. I ended up on the road to the finish first and pushed it up the road. I crossed the finish line and just stayed there exhausted from the last little push. Jolene crossed 15 seconds later. We both hung on our bikes for a moment, gave our congrats' and moved on. I then took off to meet Mandy.



A final note. Apparently Ed has forgotten the 35+ division and the sport women division. We stood in the rain patiently waiting for him to call our division and names. After a bit we realized he was talking and it appeared podium was over. We had to get his attention and sure enough he had forgotten us. So we have now gone from getting our awards last, to being totally forgotten. Ed, I think you owe us and we need to be called first for the rest of the year at awards. ;-)
Racers lining up to the start. Having fun at the finish line before we start to race. Congrats and exhaustion at the finish line.
The forgotten podium in the rain. Mandy's Race

I would venture to say Mandy did not have fun at this race, and I guess I can't blame her if I was in her shoes. She is a funny little girl, she loves to go to the races, but struggles doing physical activity during the week. Today's race though I think she started with less than a happy face.

Mandy at the start line.

I dare say she got off to a good start, but this course is hard and the majority of it is climbing. On my second lap I saw Mandy on the new cut trail walking her bike just coming out of the trees. I gave her advice for the downhill and then did not see her again until after I had finished.

Starting off good.

After my finish I went and met Mandy. She was coming up the hill from under the chair lift/tram. Needless to say I did not come upon a happy campier. She is very discouraged about always being in last, and walking her bike so much. As we walked and sometimes rode the last part of the trail Mandy vented and let me know exactly how she felt about today's race.

She was very mad I did not tell her how hard the trail was. I should have told her it was mostly uphill and not very fun. She thought the down hill was not fun and boring on the road, and the other part was hard because of the rocks. She did not like the down hill at all. She was mad I had wasted her day, because she could have done better things with her time. When we got to the road and I was riding by her towards the finish, she asked me to go ahead because she was embarrassed to ride with me. I went ahead and she ended up eventually riding through the finish.

I had her stay for podium and as you can see there is a very unhappy face. Eventually the unhappy face disappeared with recovery of a Big Mac, fries and a drink. Well deserved after all she went through.

I struggle with having Mandy race. She likes the races and at the same time she hates them. She gets very discouraged coming in last and talks about what a horrible rider is. I worry because I don't want this to have a negative affect on her. I get her to ride her bike but not often enough--not from lack of trying. Yet she loves to ride when she does, loves going down hill and of course hates going up. The race courses are hard and she isn't skilled enough yet for them. So what does a mom do? She likes it, she doesn't? She has fun, she doesn't? Does she keep racing or does she stop?
The 12- under podium group.

Cold, tired and ready to go home.