What is My Fitness Level?

As the first ICup race of the season approaches I have been asking this question over and over again.  What is my fitness level?  How am I going to do at the race?  Have I improved any?  Have I done enough that I feel like I made progress from last year to this year?  These and many other questions have been going through my mind.  As I have been calling friends and making plans for the upcoming trip to the race I have discovered I am not the only one with this question.  Apparently everyone else is wondering the same thing!
How nice it is to discover I am not the only one wondering where my fitness level is.  I guess we all have the same or similar questions as we head towards the first ICup race. 

So how do you determine your fitness level?  This is the question I am trying to answer.  For me I don't think it is going to be about winning the race.  Of course I would love to win, but realistically speaking I know I am not there yet.  Last time I was on a mountain bike was in November!  Since then it has been the trainer, and I have done my best on the trainer, but there is nothing that compares to the actual ride.  My weight--well, I am lighter, but still not even close to where I need to be.  So I go into this with not the expectation of winning, but of doing well.  Am I settling?  I don't think so, I think I am being realistic, but I am not counting myself out.

What is "doing well", as I contemplate this I think it is coming in where I came in last year or better.  I feel as if my heart is doing great, so I want to be where I was last year at this time or better.  Big dreams--well we all need to dream big.  Also, I do not want to take last, or 2nd to last.  To some this may not be a big deal, but really after all of the struggles from last year, watching everyone take off ahead of me was so frustrating and discouraging I need something different.  Yes, I get it my heart was healing and I couldn't go faster, but I want it to be be different this year.  With that said if I end up taking last or close to last I guarantee it will only motivate me more.

So how do you determine your fitness level?  What will you be satisfied, or will you be satisfied?

Awww Solitude

That's what my husband said when he saw my race wounds.  They're almost identical to last years wounds, but not quite as bad.  I felt good before the start of todays race which has been rare this season.  I was looking forward to doing well, however my start was not an indicator of starting well.  We started out and the group was well ahead of me within less than a minute.  Just as I reached the single track I let 2 beginning men in front of me, knowing I would be slow on the hills......oops, my mistake.  They were a little slow going down the switchbacks and then we hit the little climb and neither of them could clear the rocks.  I ended up off my bike and having to go around them.  One of them was faster than me getting on his bike and took off, I ended up passing him on the next section.  Lesson learned.

The bobble at the first put me much further behind my group, lucky me when I hit the hill climb I did see Lauren, and that was the way it was the entire climb.  I kept in mind the whole time that this is only the first lap and anything could happen.  The climb on the full lap is long and in places steep.  My heart did not like the top of the climb and I had a few incidents, but luckily I was with Aaron (Racers) and Ryan (UMB) at the top, and they kept me going at a reasonable steady pace, and were there if I needed it.

The downhill for the upper loop was in awesome condition thanks to the rain we got the night before.  This made for an excellent downhill riding, and finally I was riding downhill well.  I was going fast and smooth and there was no hesitation as I rode.  I hit the down on the lower loop, and who should I see but Angelica with a flat.  She had her bike ready to go in case she got a tube, unfortunately for her she has 26 inch wheels and I have 29 so I couldn't help her out.  I then came around the bend and there was Lauren.  She had crashed hard.  I slowed down to see if she needed help, and she told me to keep riding.  I continued down stunned I had just passed 2 women in my field--anything can happen at a race.

I continued on the next lap tired , but kept a steady pace.  When there is no one to chase it is hard to go hard, and even if there was someone to race I can't push any harder than I was going.  I rode up to the top of the climb hit the road looked back for some reason and who should I see Angelica (that girl is fast).  I gave Ryan a grumbled remark about now I would really have to push it and took off.  I know Angelica is faster than me climbing, so my goal was to get into the downhill first and hopefully leave her behind.

I pulled into the down hill first, but Angelica was right no my tire.  You could hear our tires skidding the corners as we headed down the hill.  I kept the lead for a short time and then she cut in on the inside and pulled in front of me.  We stayed tire to tire until we came to a sharp right turn into the trees.  I did not see the sign showing the turn.  Angelica made the turn, I went straight--curse words!  I got back on track and pushed to go catch her.  I  was sure I could get her.  I was riding fast when I hit a rocky section with many large loose rocks.  My front wheel hit one of those rocks and skidded out.  There was nothing I could do and ended up crashing up the embakment and into trees and bushes.  This crash hurt.  I got up and rode, but was a little shaken.  I did not see Angelica until after the finish.

Although I didn't get to race Angelica all the way down the hill it sure was fun to be able to race someone.  Most races I don't see anyone in my group and racing becomes more of a thought than an action.  My crash left some good marks on my arm, but at least there is no blood like last year.

3 Month Check Up

I went to the cardiologist today for my 3 month check up (I have regular visits scheduled for the upcoming year).  This visit I had a transdoppler test and an echo cardiagram with bubbles.  The transdoppler test shows how many bubbles are passing through my heart to my brain.  They do a scale of 0 (being none) to 5+ (more than 300 passing through).  They run 3 different scenario's - 1. bubbles at rest, 2. bubbles tightening the stomach muscles, 3. bubbles blowing into a very small tube.  They also do  the same scenario's with the echo cardiagram with bubbles.

The results:
Scenario 1 - no bubbles, score 0
Scenario 2 - no bubbles, score 0
Scenario 3 - bubbles, score 5+

So what does this mean.  It means I am healing.  There are no expectations of being completely healed for up to 1 year.  Because I exercise, and because of the particular device used the healing time is 6 months to 1 year. 

I am very excited I am getting better.  I no longer have exercise induced asthma, mostly because it wasn't.  Instead it was blood being thrown to my lungs.  My heart rate it high, but I was told to expect this for a while (good to know, because I was wondering).  My blood pressure is doing well, and I do not need to have as much salt.  My chest pains are not as painful, and I have significantly decreased my chances of having a stroke.  Best of all the every day fatigue is going away and I am able to hang out with my family and ride my bike a lot more.

Stan Cran - Icup #6

*This  is very, very long.  I thought about breaking it up, into parts, but couldn't seem to find the appropriate place.


I was nervous the morning of the race, which was kind of funny, because going to these races I have no expectations of placing. I think perhaps my nerves have to do with my expectations. I want to stay close to the group, I want to climb faster, I want to make it around. Perhaps this is what caused my nervousness.


The start line for the race was crowded, and I counted 15 women in our division, however there were only 14 that finished, so I must have counted someone twice. I knew most of the gals in the race, but there were a couple of new faces. With new faces there is always wonderment of their abilities.

One of the things I like about start line is visiting with the gals and catching up—funny how we use this time for socializing, it’s a good way to calm the nerves. One of the gals I was standing next to told me about how last year she was overweight and smoked, this year she is riding and doesn’t smoke—how cool is that.

The start of the race started pretty good. My plan was to stay back in about the middle of the pack. I didn’t want to be up front pushing, but I didn’t want to be in the very back and have to do a lot of catching up. I got in a good spot and felt good about how we were starting off—a long train line. But the first “oh no” came in less than a ½ a mile into the race course.

The very first of the race you go up the parking lot, onto single track with a quick up. If you have good speed this quick up is a piece of cake. Unfortunately someone did not get the memo and the girl on rider ahead of me, decided to brake just before the hill! I couldn’t believe it. Colleen (UMB), in front of me, had to brake, I had to brake, and you could hear brakes all the way back on the line—did I mention Clydesdale started 30 seconds behind us, so they may have been braking too.

It concerned me she broke on such an easy spot. As I watched her through the single track towards the pond, I decided it would be best if I went around her. When the single track opened up I looked for a way to get around Colleen, but the loose gravel, downed riders and other conditions made it not possible, so I ended up staying in the exact same place. The nice part was our entire division was a train and riding smoothly, and I was in feeling good about my place in the pack.

I guess the good feelings were not meant to last. Right after the tunnel on the quick left hand up, the same girl who broke got off her bike to walk (if I remember correctly, or slipped). Either way Colleen went to go around her on the right, and slipped off her bike. I went on the inside of both of them, but Colleen was not done slipping and ended up falling on my bike….ouch for her. Very frustrating for her and for me, as well as everyone behind us, because basically it caused a large domino affect. I quickly grabbed my bike and went up the hill to get back on, but it was done. Our train was no longer, and a gap had been made.

I hoped I could catch up, but today’s ride was not in the stars. Right now closing a gap is not something that I can do—at least not this race. However, I was very impressed with Gayle (Mad Dog) she was behind me when all of this occurred (I am not sure how far back), when we hit the service road, she sailed by working on closing the gap. She ended up in 7th place—how cool is that, imagine if all the other stuff hadn’t happened. I was so impressed with how she came back, what an awesome rider.

Hitting the service road and the single track I soon discovered my heart was not into the ride for the day. I wear a heart monitor when I ride and race, to see improvement, and to see what is going on when I feel certain symptoms. Well, I started to notice some symptoms as I was climbing on the single track to the second service road; I looked down and say my hr was at 177. This is not bad thing if it is short lived, but if it is long it is not so good. I decided I would just keep going and hopefully the hr would go down and I would be okay.

I hit the service road down and the hr dropped down. Here I had a lot of fun riding down, minus the incident with a beginner UMB rider-someone may want to tell him when he passes he needs to let people know. He almost took me out twice, he obviously did not realize how close he came by his comments, but had I not moved he would have hit me….ugh.

Eventually I hit the up on the service road and felt good. I rode faster than I had on Fridays pre-ride, and felt the pace was perfect for me. The hr was still way too high, but I felt good, so I kept up the pace—I am sure this was a mistake, but I guess you go until you can’t go anymore.

I felt good most of the lap, and then I hit the silica pit. I looked, and then I rode. I felt good enough to go up, and this lap it was better than walking. Once I got to the steep hill portion though I got off and walked—good thing too, because it was loose and torn up. At the top the rider behind me gave me a good push to ride off—thanks much it was appreciated.

I loved going down. It was fun and smooth. I had a kid in front of me, and I am guessing he was 12 or 13, but not too sure. Anyway, as we hit the final down I encouraged him to pedal fast so we could use our momentum to get up the hill. He did and we went down flying fast. I stayed a little bit back, which turned out to be a good thing. I hit the final turn just before the tunnel, and the kid that had been in front of me was on the ground crying saying he couldn’t breathe.

I locked my brakes, and assessed the situation. He was hurt, I was not in contention for anything, and he was hurt. I took a deep breath; I know how lame that is, but some decisions can be tough, and stayed to help. He said he couldn’t breathe, and I let him know he could because he was talking. His mouth was bleeding, his arm was bleeding, and he was definitely shook up. I yelled several times at the people by the tunnel to get a medic and eventually got a response. I moved the kid’s bike off the trail, and then someone else jumped in to help.

At this point I looked around and saw the people who had stepped in to assist were in the beginner rider category. I asked them if they would mind staying with him since I still had another lap to go and they said they would. I left, but some of the race had been taken out of me. I had been there for what felt like 3 to 4 minutes, but looking at my time later learned it was more like 2 minutes and 30 second. On my climb out of the tunnel I saw the kid on oxygen, glad the medics finally got to him.

I rode knowing now there was no way I would catch anyone. I don’t know if this was a defeatist or realistic attitude, but it was what it was. So I rode determined to try and finish hard. Once again, this was not in the stars. On the single track climb towards the service road down my hr continued to escalate, but this time my body started to feel the symptoms and I was becoming very fatigued. From here on out every hill climb was a struggle and my hr continued to jump way too high.

Riding up the service road I began to reflect on my decision of stopping to help the hurt kid. Was it a good decision, should I have helped him, or should I have moved his bike and just gone on. I decided it was good. If my child was hurt I would want to know someone thought it was more important to stop, than to race. I also worried maybe I should not have left until the medics came. Granted I made sure someone was with him, but maybe I should have stayed. As I was thinking about this and the race, the guy who helped create the race course rode up by me. We had a good conversation and I was reminded of how lucky I am to be doing what I am doing.

You see this guy knew about ASD’s. He was familiar with the device that was put in my heart, he knew all about my cardiologist, and he also knew about the healing process. In fact he knew with my particular device it would take longer to heal, but it was the better device. I needed this talk. As much as I know I am coming back and it is 6 months to 1 year of recovery, many times I see this as an excuse not a reason.

I often feel like I should be so much further than I am. I feel like I should be losing weight more quickly. I feel like I should be able to climb and pound up the hill like I used to, and I feel like 18 miles should be no big deal. And most of all I feel like the heart thing should not have changed anything, but it has, and sometimes I need to be reminded that it is real and not an excuse. I tell myself this often so as not to become discouraged with all of my “I could do that only a couple of months ago, why not now” attitude. So it was nice to talk with someone who had knowledge of an ASD and then let me know he was surprised they let me ride a bike so soon. Ah yes, I am reminded, I get to ride my bike how cool is that.

We rode a little further and then parted ways. For the race he was my gift and my reminder which helped me continue on my way. The rest of the race was a struggle, but I did it, and boy was I grateful when the downhill came, and even more so for the end of the race.

The end of this race was quite the struggle for me, I was tired and fatigued, but determined to finish. I think I could have gone 14 miles, but almost 18 miles did me in. However, one lap would have been too short, so I am making little improvements.

I missed awards and cheering for lady Mad Dogs who took 1st, 2nd & 3rd in Sport. Way to go ladies!!! I was busy looking for Mandy who I eventually found in the pond—should have known.

Ups and Downs of Recovery

I don't believe any recovery is without it's ups and downs.  Right now I am seeing a lot of ups and it feels really, really good.

Yesterday was not an up day, it was a down day.  My daughter was up all night Sunday with the stomach flu, and when Monday morning rolled around I was tired and not feeling so hot myself.  I wanted to ride the bike, so I tried to spin, but I was just too sick and had to quit.  I was bummed, but hoped it was just because I was sick I couldn't do anything.

Today rolled around and I was still tired, and somewhat out it, but by the time afternoon rolled around I decided I would ride.  The goal a road ride up to Viv' Park.  I got going, and I felt great, so I picked up the pace.  I ended up getting to Viv' Park 10 minutes faster than last week!  What an accomplishment.  I was so excited I decided to extend my ride and rode up South Fork.  I huffed and puffed the whole way, and I do mean I huffed and puffed, I could hardly talk to let people know I was coming around.  I made it to the top and it felt so good.  Although this may seem like a small accomplishment, for me it is huge.  It let's me know I am making progress and heading in the right direction.

Soldier Hollow & More

I woke up this morning looking at the rain coming down and wondering if it was really going to be a good day for a race.  I made breakfast, and while it was cooking checked twitter to see if the race was still on--I was secretly hoping it was not, so I could go back to my nice warm bed, the idea of being in the cold, wet rain just did not seem appealing.  Much to my surprise the race was still on, so I ate, got ready and left for the race.

As I drove to the race I had my doubts about the conditions.  It was raining pretty hard, and mixed in with the rain was some snow.  It was this the whole drive up to the stop sign at Soldier Hollow and then it was nothing more than a light sprinkle.  I was completely amazed.
Snow on the course.

I was excited for the race today.  I felt good.  This week has been a good week for riding.  I feel like it is actually my first week on the bike where I have not suffered and had to push harder than I probably was supposed to.  The 2 weeks prior to this seemed more like a hurry and get on your bike so you can ride for the 12 hour race and then the week following was recover and ride.  This week I took it easy and followed the training plan Aaron has set up for me.  Aaron is sponsoring Mad Dog and part of the sponsorship was training some of the riders.  I am one of the lucky few who get training.  I have to say I feel very fortunate, because Aaron is familar working with people with health problmes, and he knows the little extras I need right now.  It also gives me some sort of plan to follow for recovery.

Getting to the start line today, I felt good about how I would be able to ride.  I had pre-ridden the course on Thursday and felt good when I finished the course.  As we lined up there were a total of 5 Mad Dog women on the start line--all my friends and all a great support.  We took off and for a portion of the start I stayed with them.  I ended up in the back on the hill climb, but this time I was on their wheels not way back.  We climbed and I continued to see them.  My goal was to stay with them as long as possible and I did--I was so excited.

As I climbed there was on UMB rider in front of me.  I was staying close, but could just not seem to get enough push to pass her.  I was riding hard, but I didn't want to push too hard and  blow up.  I kept reminding myself this was the first of the race and all I needed to do was keep her in my sight.  We rode and rode, and then all of the sudden we were to the first downhill.  It was here I was able to pass her.  I rode hard trying to put distance between us, but it was not enough.  Eventually she passed me.  I didn't give up, but kept riding and keeping her close in my sights.

This turned out to be a good thing, and eventually we hit a good hill climb, and I was finally able to catch her and pass.  From here I kept riding as hard as I could hoping she would not be able to catch me.  I also, was working really hard hoping I could get a glimpse of the gals in front of me.  It worked both ways.  I was able to keep ahead of the lady I passed, and on the uphill pavement climb I saw someone from my division.

When I finished I felt so good.  I had finished the course without any physical complications, and I had achieved two small goals, one to see the ladies in my division and two finish feeling good about what I had done. 

The end of the race was great.  I felt like I had accomplished something this race.  I feel like my health is starting to come back and I am making progress.  Although it is in baby steps it is progress.  I had a great time hanging out with the team after waiting on awards.  Oh, and the cool part--lady Mad Dogs did a 1st - 5th sweep, with me getting the lucky number!!!

Me - Fifth Place

Gayle - Tweety Chair

Tiffany - 3rd 

Heather - 2nd 

Jen - 1st

Women's Sport 1st - 6th

Sundance Spin

Usually I do not lack ideas of things to write about for a race, but this race I am not exactly sure what to write.  The race was great, and it was so great to see everyone again.  I have missed racing with the team and against other teams.  We got our new kits for Mad Dog which are great looking, except for one thing.  There is white on the side of the short which accentuations my legs--the one place I don't like to draw attention to.  Oh well, we'll just pretend they make me look like I have power legs.

For the race there were only 5 in my division, it made it easier to know who was ahead of me.  I planned at the start line to take last, which may sound defeatist, but actually it is more realistic.  Going up the initial hill was kind of hard.  I pushed as hard as I could, but my pace was less than stellar.  The next group of racers, and the next group began to pass me.  You could say this was the theme for the rest of the race, I think I was passed by someone in every single division.  I am glad I had a bad mental lap last week, because it made getting passed a lot easier.  Not that it is easy, but I didn't come down on myself, which made the race a lot of fun.
On the start ready to go.

My race went well.  I rode and tried, and didn't realize it, but there was one girl only 2 minutes ahead of me.   So close and yet so far.  The new route was tough, and the service road hill climb was a killer.  This was one place I was very proud of myself.  I was determined not to get off my bike--I was going to ride this no matter what, and I did.
Great photo by Reed.

This race was hard, but fun.  I ended up not taking last much to my surprise.  I don't remember exactly when I passed one of the girls in my division, but I did.  I had one minor mechnical where my front wouldn't shift.  I had to stop and fix this, because going up in my middle cog was not an option.  Other than that all was good.  Except for one thing.  Coming downhill on the 2nd lap I became incredibly hungry.  I was so hungry all I could think about was food and my stomach growled.  Not quite sure what to do about this, I have never gotten hungry while riding during a race?!?
Across the finish.

The best part of the race, all the friends cheering me on.  I couldn't have made it through without their support.
Keith trying to get the team together for team photo.

One of many good photos.

Team playing around

I'm So Excited!

I got to ride my bike today!  It feels like it has been forever, and in a way it has been.  It was the perfect day for a ride.  I met Wendy up by water tower road and we took off.  The only plan was to ride Dragon's back.  Have you ever yearned to ride a trail, and just had to go ride it no matter what.  That's what it has been for me and Dragon's back.  Don't ask me why, but I love going down this trail.  It is fun, fast and bumpy--I love going over the rocks.  I couldn't wait to ride it.

Since there was no plan other than riding Dragons Back, Wendy and I improvised as we went.  We rode up water tower road, and had a fox scoot right in front of us across the road and up the hillside.  I have never seen a fox in that area.  It was really cool, and cute, it still had it's winter coat on.

At the top of water tower we decided to go up Betty.  We took Betty up to the alter.  This is only my second time going up.  The ride was great, and it seemed a lot easier than the first time I rode it.  KC and Chris showed up a little after we did at the alter.  Wendy predicted they would be there, and sure enough they were.  I think it is their second home.

We then went down Franks so we could get to Dragon's back, quickly.  I don't think many people ride Franks, because there were a lot of loose rocks.  I would say this is not the best downhill, but it is quick to get to where you need to go.

I was so happy to go down Dragons Back, it was fun and fast, and I still really like it.  At the bottom I somehow lost Wendy.  I went right to go down the single track, she apparently went left.  Once I realized I lost her I went back up the hill, and rode along the road but never found her.  Not knowing where she was I eventually turned around and went down.  By the time I made it to the Texaco at the Provo trail head Wendy called.  She was home, happy and off to yoga.  I was glad she was okay.  Funny how we never saw each other split up.

My ride went well, but my legs were tired after all was said and done  I have a ways to go to get my fitness back, but I think my legs will get back in shape fairly quickly.  My heart may take longer, I don't know.  The doctor told me it would take 6 months to a year for complete healing.
So this means what?  What it means is my heart has to get used to riding a mountain bike.  Normally when I ride I like push it on the uphills.  Right now I can't.  When I go up a hill my heart rate escalates way too high, and I end up exploding.  So I have to gauage the hills and figure out the best gear to go in.  You see my legs go up fine, at least until my heart rate escalates.  Once my heart rate escalates I can only go so long and then my whole body decides it is done.  What does it escalates to?  Try in the 180s and up.  Way too high for simple riding.  Steep hills okay, but simple hills, not so much.  Which means my heart rate is up most of the time, and I am not racing!

I don't know how long it will take for it to get conditioned to riding, but I am hoping not long.  In the mean time, I am closely monitoring my heart rate, distance and speed.  I noticed by doing this I see improvement.  Very small improvement, but improvement which will help on those days when I am discouraged.

I am also going to write about my progress, the ups and downs.  Forgive me if it drives you crazy, but there are others who have health issues, and it gets really hard sometimes to overcome them.  Maybe they will be able to relate.  I know right now when I read Karl's blog I can sometimes relate.  Totally different stuff, but I know the feeling of not being able to race or ride, so I can relate.  Which is why I am going to write about it.
Which means there may positive stuff to read and discouraging stuff.  I hope you don't get lost in it all.